yellow - D.M

Chapter forty nine: oh, ophelia

"I, I just miss
I just miss your accent and your friends
Did you know I still talk to them?"
-song: Cherry by Harry Styles
___________________________________

~
four months later
~

DRACO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

He looked at the old man confused. "I-I don't think I can take this sir," he muttered while looking down at the box the man had given him.

The war was over. It's been over for months. She would have been proud. They won.

Malfoy had just gotten back from the funeral. Tear stained and flushed cheeks. Wearing all balck.

He knew the man who stood before him.

Ophelia's father.

He was at the funeral as well, "You must," he reassured, he looked down for a moment. "It just brings too much anger and sadness to have all her stuff in the house," he told him. "I just thought since you two were close you would like to have it."

Ophelia's father couldn't believe the news when he heard this youngest daughter had passed. It broke him.

He knew he was never close to her. He knew that he barely even tried to get to know the girl. It pained him to think that he never treated her like he should have.

First he lost his wife, now his little girl.

Draco frowned, and sighed "Okay," he murmured, looking down at the cardboard box. He bit his cheek, as he stared down at the objects resting in it. "Y-Yeah, I'll take it," he sniffed and nodded. He didn't want it though. Who would want a box of their dead girlfriends stuff anyway?

"Oh thank you," The man told Draco, "Thank you for everything really," he gave Draco a sad smile "Y-You made her really happy," he looked up at Draco "Really, really happy," he repeated under his breath.

-

Draco dropped the box onto his bed. He stared at it for a while. Not really wanting to look at the inside.

Moments passed, he was still staring. It was too much in one day, first he had to go to her funeral, and now he had a box of her stuff. Too many tears in one day. Though in all honesty there hasn't been a day since the war where Draco hadn't cried about her.

It was like a routine. He would wake up, thinking he would be fine, and he would go about his day. But then something or someone would do or say something that reminded him of her. The air would get caught in his throat, he would feel his bottom lip quiver, and tears would brim in his eyes. He would have to excuse himself from the situation, go up to his room, or just an empty area, and he would cry. He missed her. He missed her so so much. It hurt.

He sighed and slowly reached his hand into the box. His breath hitched as he pulled out her Walkman. More tears inked into his already swollen and puffy eyes as he decided to place the headphones on his ears.

He examined the cassette holder and clicked the play button.

"Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out I-"

He ripped the headset off too quickly. He couldn't bring himself to actually listen to the song. He shoved it back into the box, knowing it was all too much. It was silly for him to think he could handle it. Any of it.

Draco choked back a sob as he continued to look through all her stuff. Her Hamlet copy, a few black bows, random books, cassette tapes, and her journal. A shaking sigh left his lips as he pulled it out. He flicked through the filled pages, occasionally his eyes would linger on one longer than the others.

As he was about to close the notebook, a page caught his attention.

~

Draco Malfoy

How should I begin?
Everything about him is perfect to me.
His smile, the way he actually learned french for me, his laugh, his humor, the way he holds me, how we finally learned to be honest with each other, how he sometimes intertwined his fingers with my belt loops, how he listens to my music, the way we can joke around, his silver rings, the way he says my name, the way his compliments me. The way he makes me happy and loved, the way he calls me love, how he holds my hand.
Everything. I love everything about him. It may sound cheesy but it's true. I can't imagine what I would do without him. I love him dearly. He brings so much light into my dull, dreadful life. I hope one day I can thank him for that. I want him to know. Because to be honest, before we started talking, before we became friends, and before we started to date, I was really upset with myself. I hated how I go day, after day, with faking smiles and laughs. But then when Draco came, everything changed. He makes me feel whole, cared for, happy, complete, and loved.
I seriously love Draco Malfoy with all of my heart, and I hope he knows that.

~

Draco sat down on his bed, tossing the open journal next to him. He closed his eyes, tears flowing down his flustered cheeks. His breathing was heavy. His shoulders moved up and down as he threw his hands in his head.

He knew. He knew she was happier with him.

  But did she know how she made him feel?

Did she know how much she changed his life? Did she realize how much her love and care changed him? Did she know that she was his safe place? That whenever he felt mad, or sad, he would think of her and all the pain would go away? Was she aware that she basically saved his life? Did she know that he didn't know how to go about his days now that his Hufflepuff Princess was gone?

He missed her dearly. He wished there was more time. More time so he could tell her how she made him feel. He loved her. God he loved her so much it hurt. It pained his heart knowing she was gone.

"Draco?"

His head snapped to his doorway. His mother looked at him with sad eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

When she didn't get a reply, she walked into his room, lightly pushing Ophelia's box aside as she sat down next to him. As soon as she wrapped her arms around her, he broke. Loud sobs and cries echoed through his large dimly lit room as he held onto her.

She rubbed his back softly "Shhhh," she murmured "It will be okay." She closed her eyes as she held her tired, emotional boy.

"I-I miss her," he hiccuped, tears running down his cheeks and onto the comforter on the bed.

"I know," Narcissa told him "But everything will be alright," she sighed, she hated seeing him like this "Give it some time."

Draco clinged onto his mother. Sure 'give it some time' sounded great. But would it actually work? No. Because even a month, hell even years from now, whenever he would hear someone talk about Shakespeare, say something in French, wear a black bow, or even listen to music on a daily basis, his mind would still think back to Ophelia Woodlock. It didn't matter if years had passed and he was married, had kids, got a job, his mind would still float back to her.

He knew that. She changed him. She was his everything.

And now she was gone.