𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 | 𝐃.𝐌

Chapter Twenty-Two: Without You

[MATURE WARNING: SELF HARM]

I stormed out of his room, dragging my trunk behind me. I didn't care that his face had dropped when I told him I hated him. Honestly, I just wanted him to stay away from me.

I was worse than I could ever imagine.

Tears streamed down my face with every step I took. I can't get his words out of my head.

You always need someone to depend on.

If we just so happen to stop talking to you for a day it'll drive you to kill yourself.

Maybe he was right.

The thing I worried about most is if we were still together or not. Maybe he wouldn't want us together.

Not that I cared.

I couldn't care.

I walk into Pansy's room with my trunk. Pansy had four beds in her room which I found pretty weird. It's been a while since I've been in there and some things have changed a bit. More like remodeling, but none the less, something changed.

I set down my trunk next to an empty bed. I sat down on the bed and cried.

I was so done.

Done with myself.

Done with Draco.

Done with death eaters.

Done with everything.

I wanted to get rid of this stupid mark. Ever since I've had it, only bad things have been happening.

Tears stream down my face as I look through my trunk for a sharp object.

I finally find a small hand mirror. I throw it onto the ground and it shatters everywhere. I look for the biggest price and grab it.

I lift up the sleeve with my dark mark and slice open a stripe on my skin. I scream out in pain. This pain was far worse than it was that night in the astronomy tower.

The dark mark somehow made all things worse.

I quickly walk over to the shower and turn it on. I fall down onto the shower floor, unable to keep myself standing from all of the pain. The scorching hot water burned my cut as the water trickled down my body. I cry out again, luckily no one was able to hear me.

I wasn't ok.

I ripped off my emerald necklace that he had given me and threw it towards the door.

I didn't want to wear it.

I threw my grey button sweater off and I saw the blood that soaked through my white button up shirt. The blood from my cut oozed out of my skin and dripped onto the shower floor.

I was crying but no tears were coming out. My throat was getting sore from my painful sobs. I rip open my shirt and throw it onto the ground next to me. I rocked back and forth hoping for the pain to leave my body.

"I don't want this!" I yell out.

And I didn't want this. I was a death eater. I got in a fight with my boyfriend. Everyone is going to hate me now because I'm a death eater.

I was a horrible person.

I tugged at my hair. There was a ringing in my ear. I didn't want to suffer anymore, but I didn't want to die. I started to hear voices. Whispers. They started saying things that I wasn't brave enough to tell myself.

"You're meant to be a death eater."

"You're better than all of them, just kill them."

"Crying makes you look pathetic."