Sasquatch to the Moon

🎁🌲 christmas special 🌲🎁

okay, so, this is set a year into the future, ish, but it's completely canonically inaccurate (esp with Helen, Milo's mom) for what's going to happen with the rest of part two. so this is like an alternate timeline. the same events are actually going to happen in a year with them but there's going to be more characters. I'll see if I want to redo it with them later. 

so. 

merry christmas. also if you don't celebrate christmas you can still enjoy all this domestic fluff I've written. I didn't realize that i've got like a very diverse audience on here until I was deep in that christmas mood. uh. 

basically this is just misplaced one shots. 

anyway

[edit christmas morning: i forgot the š on one of the endings to miloš]

-rabid. 

***

HÅKON

"I am not going to midnight mass on Christmas eve, even if it is only at ten." I cross my arms at Rocket, all dressed up in a sweater and a collared shirt. "Please don't make me go."

"My mom is getting here in five minutes. You're coming."

I have the urge to whine about this. "Please don't make me go to church. I'm a free gay man, a legal adult."

"And I'm a free bisexual man, but we're going to church."

I frown. "No."

"We can have passionate gay sex by the fireplace when we get back to completely undo any godliness we may have obtained from an hour of church."

I think on that for a moment. "Let me go put on a collared shirt."

Ten minutes later I'm figuring out my tie in the living room when Helen Stojanovič pops through the door, all dressed up for mass.

Rocket, off on some tirade, is nowhere to be found, she addresses me first. "How's my favorite future son in law?"

I whip my head up at her. "What?"

"I didn't think you'd go."

"Your kid is convincing." I nod toward the staircase where Milo comes thundering down, now with his hair back.

"Håkon, how did you last this long without a boyfriend? Your tie is a mess." He makes a beeline for me and swats my hands away before I can mess it up further. To be honest, I can totally tie one of these. Always have been able to. I just like it when he fusses over me so I started acting like I couldn't do it without a lot of time to figure it out and make it perfect. That way he fixes it for me. You know, all cute.

"What division are you guys?" I look between them. "Like, what should I be expecting logistically for this?"

Rocket's biting his tongue and working with my tie, it's Helen who answers: "Roman catholic."

My eyebrows go up. "Nice, technically I'm in the Church of Sweden but it's Lutheran so that's-"

"There's a church of Sweden?" Milo's head snaps up. "What?"

"Yeah," I lean forward and put a little kiss on the crease of his eyebrows, that's about where they land in relation to my head if we're standing like this. "Everyone's made a part of it unless they cancel it or their parents don't do the paperwork when they're born, it's this whole thing."

"Weird," Milo mumbles, patting my tie and then stepping back.

"It's actually incredibly liberal as a whole, women can be ordained, they had the first openly lesbian bishop, you know, in its own little Swedish way."