24.

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I wish I could say that after being serenaded to sleep on the beach, I woke up feeling like myself again.

I wish I could say that I'm doing better and treating myself well but that wouldn't be the truth.

The truth is that Harry held me while I slept and woke me up about an hour and a half later after the first fan spotted us. We went back to his house and I went back to sleep again, in my own bed. H woke me for dinner and I picked through it a bit, we made a little bit of small talk and he told me that those men at the apartment were packing my things and bringing them over. They were also helping to pack and move Nicki's things. He also told me that I had several missed calls from Nicki, but he had answered Frankie's call so he could pass on that I was okay. Shortly after that, I went to sleep again, this time H sat with me in bed and read while I slept, it was comforting to have him there.

That sad routine repeated yesterday as well. I could tell Harry was getting worried, he called Frankie twice and both times Frankie reassured him that I would be okay and that this behavior was normal for me during one of these episodes. It didn't mean H would stop trying though.

He brought me water every hour, he brought in movies, and books too. At one point I asked him to read to me just so he would settle down and sit down for a bit. His voice is so fucking soothing though, I passed out almost immediately.

He brought that journal of his with him sometime in the evening and I woke up to him writing away, humming a melody to himself repeatedly.

"Hey, shut up. No spoilers." I mumbled from my pillow. I heard him chuckle softly before he slid down on the bed and placed his head on the pillow next to me. He smelled good, like he always does, but his hair was greasy and his skin was shiny like it was a bit oily. He needed a shower.

Wow, I've got some fucking nerve saying HE needs a shower. I've barely moved in 48 hours, I probably smell like a used sock, what the fuck is wrong with me.

He brought a hand up to my face and tweaked the tip of my nose before he held my chin with his thumb and index finger. He didn't look me in the eye when he spoke, instead, his eyes roamed my face like he wanted to remember it before his whispers hit my face. "I miss you, Jojo. Come back to me soon."

His eyes flicked to mine and then closed as he pressed his lips to the space between my eyebrows.

The day ended much like it began, I was asleep and Harry was keeping himself busy beside me.

Today, however, I have to be awake, much to my dismay. My things are being delivered today so I'll get up and get them put away, not because I want to, but because I don't want the mess in Harry's house. I will get up and be productive today so that I'm not such a burden.

I will feed myself. I will talk. I will get my things put away quickly and orderly so that they don't bring their chaotic energy into his home. I will take care of myself today so that he doesn't feel like he has to.

We leave in two days, and I'll be damned if he goes home to London worried about me. He has a photo shoot to do and he cannot have these bags under his eyes for it. He needs rest. He needs to prepare for the Grammys. He does not need to force-feed his pathetic " friend."

I spent 10 minutes bullying myself into getting out of this bed while I stare at the ceiling. The time has finally come, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get up.

My body is sore as I stand up from the bed, it's stiff from being in the same position for two days. I can feel the ache in my legs as the blood rushes to them, and the sting in my hamstrings as they stretch themselves out again. My neck is stiff and my shoulders are tense, I'm in desperate need of a hot shower.

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