{18+ COMPLETE} For the past three years, Bren Hadaway has been preparing to die.
When he was sixteen, he watched his dad murder his mom. And ever since, he's been counting down the days until it was his turn to be at the end of a gun. And Bren has...
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Fifty-two.
Fifty-two mornings of feeling safe.
Fifty-two days of freeing myself.
Fifty-two nights of falling in love.
For fifty-two days, I didn't leave Bren Hadaway's side.
And now he was gone.
Shock. That was really the only way of describing it. I never realized how much Bren had become my security blanket until my lap was empty. I wasn't ready to say goodbye indefinitely. But then again, I wouldn't ever be ready.
I wanted fifty-three mornings. I wanted one hundred days. I wanted a million nights.
I wanted forever with my brown-eyed boy.
"Madie, you can't stay in bed forever."
Wrong.
This...this need to sleep away the heartbroken, wretched feeling of being alone—it was only forever I had at the moment.
"Says who," I mumbled into my pillow, keeping my eyes firmly shut.
It was awful. It was awful being awake without him. It was awful opening my eyes and not finding him beside me. It was awful not feeling his hands on my waist, not feeling his lips on my neck. It was awful, and I hated it.
I'd rather be asleep.
"Me."
I groaned. "Leave me alone, Wednesday."
She sighed heavily from across the room.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Bren said not to let you...wallow."
Scowling, I muttered, "Fuck what Bren said."
I was still pissed at him. I craved him like hell and would jump at the chance of seeing him again. But I was still pissed.
He'd kept so much from me about his dad. Bren still refused to allow me to help carry his burdens, even when he always insisted on shouldering mine. He should have talked to me. He should have told me what was going on. He should have given me a choice.
I didn't belong here if he wasn't with me.
"Madie... he'll be back before you know it."
"No, Nessa." Flopping over on my bed, I finally looked at her. She was poised on the edge of her mattress, her hair in those Wednesday Addams braids, her lips drawn tight. "That's the problem. I have no idea when he'll be back. I have no idea if he's coming back at all."
Oh god, that hurt. Thinking about that hurt so freaking much.
Nessa shook her head. "He would never leave you, Madie."
