"I'm really busy, you know." Timothée said. His hand lightly rubbed my cheek as he stood above me.
"I know." I let out in a soft voice nervous from our current encounter. I peered my eyes up meeting his beautiful deep green ones, his lips slightly...
Timmy had a few days after the new year to spend time with his friends. I was so thankful for it! The biggest downside of it all, was that we constantly had to be in a big group when ever we went out in public.
For example, Timmy and I wanted to go on a romantic dinner date, which meant everyone had to come on a romantic dinner date. Timmy and I sat across from one another at the end of the table, and everyone tried to ignore us, but that got hard every time Simone and David would make fun of us for being cringy.
"I'm sorry it's like this." Timothée blushed at his plate. I wanted so bad to reach over and grab his hand, but there was no way to hide it.
"It's kinda funny." I assured him so he didn't feel bad. I always hated when he would get down about the realities of our relationship, I feared he would want to back out.
"You look amazing, it sucks I can't touch you." he smirked lightening up the conversation.
"Eww get a room!" David groaned a seat away from Timmy.
"Some of us are trying to eat." Simone remarked. Her and David cackled away, which made it impossible for the rest of the table not to laugh.
Despite not being able to really go on dates, it's still fun. I'm lucky I have enough friends to constantly be entertained. New Years was the only real time we got together, since we had a small private gathering. I was able to kiss Timmy going into the New Year, knowing that by the end of it our relationship wouldn't be so messy.
Lily said she knew of a large private field with a green house about an hour away from where we were staying. Since there was a heated indoor area, we would just have brunch there. It was my last full day with Timothée, then I wouldn't see him for another two weeks, but in that time he'll be done with his movie and we'll have more time together.
I think.
He has so many other movies to film, but they're all in the states. I thought back to my conversation with Lily, where she felt like she was holding him back. What about holding me back? I really wanted to expand my store... I'm sure I could do that during his off time.
Out of all the things Timmy and I could do alone, we decided to get our own car there. We had an hour to ride in a private car and just enjoy each other without any annoyingly funny comments. Once we were on our way I leaned on him and sighed.
"You have fun?" he smiled down at me.
"Yeah... you know I'm glad we don't have consistent time together or else you'd get tired of me." I joked.
"You would get tired of me." he poked my sides making me laugh. I pushed his hands away trying to make this convo more serious, I've been reflecting on holding him back for a while.
"Do you think I hold you back?" I just asked. His face turned into a confused one.
"No?" he was frowning, then sighed, "you could've told me Lily told you why we broke up, if you hold me back or if I hold you back we let each other know, and we figure it out." he shrugged. It was assuring to know that, and it was an even better feeling that he valued my life as well.
"Well," I bit my lip in hesitation, "I really want to move to Seattle, at least for a bit to open up a store there." he smiled at what I said and patted my cheek.
"Do it! I'll be in Concord for a bit filming... it's not far from New York if you want to wait until I go abroad agin to film. Like I said, these things are so easy to plan." he had a way of just easing my anxieties in the most logistical ways. He leaned down giving me a sweet kiss.
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Timmy and I had to do our goodbyes in the privacy of our hotel. I had about 20 mintues before we would drive off to the airport, even if Timmy was coming I couldn't give him a kiss right there in public. Despite our wonderful time this break, I was sobbing.
This had to be one of the hardest goodbyes we've had. We were consistently together for near 3 weeks, I had gotten used to seeing him almost every day. I know two weeks is nothing, we did that all the time, but saying goodbye to my best friend was hard.
I held myself tightly to his chest crying into it while he rubbed my back doing his best to sooth me. I stayed in his arms trying my best to remember what his embrace feels like for later.
"You're such a baby Fleur." he joked trying to get a laugh out of me.
"I'm going to miss you... a lot--is it cheesy to say I think I fell more in love with you?" I laughed.
"I did too... it will get back to normal-or whatever ours is soon." his hold got a little tighter around me, "you don't want to break up do you?" I frowned more in his chest that I was making him over think with the way I've been.
"No." I shook my head. I leaned back so he could see my puffy crying face, "I love you."
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I clicked off Instagram and check twitter seeing the same link being tweeted to me. I tapped on it and it took me to a gossip site. I mentally groaned but let it load.
I threw my head back in the seat and scrolled down to read what they had to say. It went over a timeline of their relationship and then my interactions with Timmy, but they were excused as he and I had been rumored to be working on a project together. Hollywood will really make a story out of nothing these days. Even with all the secrecy we go through, I'm still associated and known for Timothée.
I locked my phone tossing it to my lap. I rubbed my face and turned my head towards the window. The clouds and thought of possibly flying over an ocean didn't do well with my anger and anxiety. I shut the blinds and leaned my head on Mia's shoulder thinking about what this year could have in store for me.
