just like me || remus lupin

oh, this is just a load of bull.

Cerise stood still staring at her four roommates. She could see the mixed emotions in each of their faces. She clutched the door handle, still standing in the doorway. Robin held an opened letter between two of her fingers as if touching any more of the piece of paper would be a burden. Cerise's eyes moved down and saw her name at the top of the letter in her father's handwriting. Marlene gritted her teeth staring at her.

"Hey, why are you mad? I'm the one with a dead mom. No offense, Alice." Cerise awkwardly directed towards Alice. She sent her an equally awkward wave back. She and Alice weren't considered total pals, but at least they now had something new in common. Cerise was secretly jealous of Alice as she and Frank Longbottom were in such a perfect relationship. They fit together harmoniously and nothing could stand in their way. Cerise wished to find someone like that. Lily broke the awkward silence that filled the air for quite some time.

"Is this why you've been so sad?" Lily's voice was so quiet they could barely hear what she said, but Cerise heard it well enough. She was going to answer but Marlene cut in.

"Of course this is why she's been bloody distant from everyone! What I'm wondering is why you didn't tell anyone." Marlene stared her down.

"C'mon, Mar, give her space," Robin said grabbing Marlene's wrist and pulling her away from Cerise. Marlene did as she was told but pulled away from Robin's clasp as she did so.

"Problems are easier to handle when people don't know there's a problem in the first place. I'm not sad, Lils. I'm angry and it's easier to deal with that anger by myself." Cerise said closing their door.

Marlene scoffed. "So you were just never going to tell us then? Or anyone for that matter? Do you not trust us?"

"Of course I do! I was going to when I was ready. I was gonna be more open about it once I stopped being angry at her for dying and could handle everyone's fake sincerity without getting pissed." Cerise said dropping her bag onto her bed and plopping herself on it. Her roommates' eyes followed her movement. They all stayed silent not knowing what to do. Cerise had never been a person who liked to be open about emotions, they all knew that. A part of them wasn't surprised that she was acting like this, but they still wanted to be there for her. Cerise sighed.

"Look be angry, okay? Be angry that I didn't tell you. If you want to make me feel better be pissed off. Yell, scream, attack me but just please don't give me pity. Pity sucks because, in the end, no one means the shit they say. They say it to make themselves look and feel better but in reality, they could care less. It'd be so much easier if people could just stop acknowledging it in the first place but I can't have that, can I." She ranted, flopping onto her bed.

The four other friends stared at each other, Alice's eyes filling with tears, while Marlene for a duration of time, ironically didn't feel angry anymore. She groaned loudly before plopping onto the bed next to her.

"That doesn't mean you had to keep it from us." Marlene sighed.

"Holy shit, I'm getting deja vu," Cerise said smiling at her ceiling, recalling the fact that the Marauders said the exact same thing to her. Lily flicked her in the head as she climbed up onto the bed as well. The two other girls followed along.

"How have you been coping with everything then?" Lily questioned.

Cerise softly chuckled. "Well, there's an old, really beat up tree somewhere near the Black Lake that's probably extremely terrified of me now." They all laid down together on Cerise's bed, looking at the frame of her bed. They could see small characters, stick figures, and words sketched into the wood.

Cerise received a pocket knife for her fourteenth birthday from Arthur Weasley, which she appreciated greatly. Her family was close with the Prewett's, making Molly Prewett (now Weasley), a sister figure to her. Even though she was ten years older than Cerise, it didn't matter as their friendship stayed strong. They were so close that Cerise was one of the first people outside of their immediate family to hold their first child, Bill. Being close to Molly also meant being close to the rest of the Prewetts. Even though Molly's younger siblings, the Prewett twins, were one of the most mischievous twins she's ever met and closer to her age, they didn't prank her as much as they pranked the Marauders.