imprisonment

Chapter 18; D

Draco fractured inside.

He had already known what others thought of him but this solidified it. No one in the entirety of the world cared for him besides his mother—and her safety was unknown.

Granger's words pierced his skin and left cracks willing him to fall apart. Everything was his fault. He was disgusting: a death eater, a bully, and a coward. He would forever be marked by the symbol that fueled his self-hatred. He would forever be reminded that he was worthless.

The bad part was he didn't even want to change. He had no one to change for. He had done his best pushing everyone away that in the end, even if he changed for the better no one would notice or care.

It was easier to be cold. He never had to live up to any expectations—people expected him to be a shitty person so when he was they weren't disappointed.

He tried to be angry at Hermione, but she was right. Everything she said about him was true.

If you are constantly regarded as being malicious, apathetic, and heartless, you might as well fill the role others create for you.

One thing she said hit a nerve though. She said her parents didn't remember her. She didn't elaborate but he felt sorry for her.

Draco was weak. He had been weak from the last time he used legilimancy on Hermione. This didn't stop him though. He was going to help her see her parents again.

He was selfish in this action. He did this act of kindness for her in order to make him feel better about himself. He wanted to feel good for just a moment. He wanted to feel like he had finally done something right.

In order for it to work he had to use a memory of her parents, but manipulate it in such a way that she could interact with them. It took a lot of patience and focus on Draco's part.

He knew he was succeeding when he could feel the magic and energy draining from his body, leaving him crumpled on the floor.

***

After allowing her to visit her parents, Hermione eventually fell asleep on the couch wrapped in their arms.

Draco decided to conjure the library again. He wanted a safe place he could just be away from his past. He needed someone to talk to, and here Hermione didn't think he was real.

He just needed a moment to tell someone the truth—to show them his raw self. He wanted to allow himself to feel redeemed, even if it was just in a fake library with a girl who hated him.

His thoughts were interrupted when Hermione awoke and looked around.

Draco walked closer to her. He was careful to make her feel safe and let her know that he wouldn't hurt her. He looked her up and down. Her eyes were filled with confusion and a hint of sadness.

"Malfoy, I'm not in the mood right now. I just want to be alone I—" she started before being interrupted by his finger in front of her mouth.

"Shh, please just hear me out," he said staring into her eyes. He could feel her breath against his fingers, making it almost impossible for him to stay concentrated.

"But—" she started to speak again.

He shook his head signaling her to stop talking. She nodded and let him talk.

"All my life I have been told to act a certain way, to look a certain way, what to say and what to do. I was taught men don't have feelings because they should be ruthless. I was groomed into the man my father wanted me to be, the heir of the Malfoy line." He said pacing back and forth explaining himself to her. She looked at him, taking in all the information he was telling her.