Die Arthia

B i l a n g LXXXVIII

For the first time in this lifetime I felt scared, scarier than Levi turning his back on me, scarier than dying without achieving anything.

The familiar fear of the old Arthia, I felt it.

"Do something!" I can't helped but to groaned at the doctor. I'm losing my conciousness but i'm more afraid to lose the child inside of me.

"A-arthia.." Lady Cecilà started crying besides the duke. I can also feel my fears falling to all over my face.

The physical pain has no match on the fear i'm feeling.

"D-damn.." I ground when I felt sting pain on my lower part. "P-please.." I hate how I sounded as I beg. All my life I never begged. "S-save my baby." I whispered.

This is probably the first time I begged but this is also the most painful. I never thought I'll beg for someone's life before mine.

I shut my eyes tightly as I can feel my conciousness running away from me.

I gasped for air but before I could even do it properly I lost it.

Tears from my eyes didn't stop but I lost my conciousness.

"Arthia!" I looked around the colorful garden when I heard someone calling me. "Mo..ther." I felt a sting pain on my heart. "M..mum." There's no one in that colorful and alive garden but I can hear small voices that break my heart.

"Arthia!"

From a nightmare, my eyes opened wide. I gasped for air and it continued by fast breathing.

"Tia.." A gentle voice got my attention. I look besides me to see Levi sitting on my bed. I look around but see nothing. My heart started racing fast when I felt the pain on my lower body.

"B-baby.." I whispered. My hand unconciously move to my stomach. "M-my child." I whispered shaking.

This fear can't compare to anything.. or there's nothing to compare.

Tears fell from my eye when I saw Levi shook his head. He immediately move to hug me. I tried pushing him with tears falling all over my face.

"L-levi.. m-my child.. where's the doctor?" I pushed Levi but he was too strong.

"Tia calm down.."

"Doctor.. h-how's my child?" I asked even when the doctor's not around.

"Our child is no longer there Tia." It was like my whole world crumpled. It was already crumpled, yet it even crumpled reaching my heart.

"Liar." I pushed him. He let go of me. "L-look Levi, it's not yet showing b-but my child is here!" I said convincing him.. convincing myself.

"Tia." He whispered my name in the most painful way he can.

"I can even hear him calling m-me mum.. come on!" I laughed not minding the tears falling down from my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. The child is here Levi!" I said.

My breathing is fast same with my heart.

Levi just look at me. Pain is very evident in his eyes. I smiled at him, more tears fell from my eyes.

My smile slowly faded as I look away.

"L-leave." My voice are shaky. Pain and sorrow never left my tone. "Leave.. it's your f-fault." I whispered and hug my knee. He tried to move towards me but when he saw my glare he stopped.

"Tia.. you should rest. I won't leave you until you're feeling we--"

"Leave!" My voice roared on the whole room. He shook his head defying me again.

"I won't leave you.." I laugh at him.

My child is still here. I can hear him calling me mum that made my heart flutter. Levi's lying.

"Leave.. please I want to be alone." I whispered but he immediately shook his head. "Leave, come on Levi. Do me another favor like what you used to do.." I pleaded.

Damn. I'm getting used on pleading.

He looked at me for the last time.

"Don't hurt yourself." He said giving up. "I'll be back." He whispered and stood up. I did not close my eyes or flinched when he gave me a kiss on my forehead. He then look at me before turning away.

"I-it's your fault." I whispered. "You mother's fault." I said eager to share my pain with him.

He flinched.

"I won't forgive your mother. I'll.. kill her myself." I whispered not giving any emotions.

Not only she gave me back my trauma but she also killed my child.. No! My child is not gone!

"Tia.."

"Leave.." My chest is moving fast back and forth. Levi left without looking back at me.

When the door shut close more tears fell. I laughed and caress my stomach.

"Everyone's a liar baby.." I whispered. "Y-you're still.. there, r-righ.." Before I could finished my sentence I broke down.

Who am I fooling? Levi never lied to me.

I can feel my heart aching. So much pain that I can't handle it. I wanted to shout my frustrations but i'm too weak to even move.

All I feel is wrath.. but in pain.

"I thought I'll be called mum." I cried on my knees.

It's painful to lose a child so how come father killed me so easily?

If I had a child. I wouldn't do the same. I won't introduce him to greed and wrath or anything that will lead him to his own distruction.. but I lost the chance.

"Lady Clair.." I whispered.. "How dare you?"

I clenched my fist.

I can't believe I lost another person and I feel pain.

♡
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