Soulmates, sunflowers, hot air balloons, ballet, wildfire and music.
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EXCERPT:
"Why do you always call me sunflower?" She looks as though she's desperate for the answer, staring into my soul with so much sincerity in her words.
I smile to mysel...
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Down the stairs. Out of the lobby. Across the street. And then left.
No. Right.
I definitely turned right.
Didn't I?
Fuck, I don't remember. I wasn't even walking in a definite direction yesterday. I was just walking and walking and walking. All the way until I stumbled into a random bar - the rest is a hazy mess of memories I wish weren't engraved into the forefront of my mind.
All morning I've been having these continuous flashes of everything that has happened over the course of the entirety of mine and Evie's relationship - almost as though I'm being mocked by the wonderful memories because they're destroyed by a wave of new flashes from last night.
Or in other words - me fucking Meg.
The thing is, I know I have to come clean to Evie. That's a no brainer. I guess I knew that anyway without the looming factor of Meg potentially writing an article about me and her. God, I really fucking hope she was saying that just to get a rise out of me.
As thoughts of last night swim through my head, drowning my every thought, my feet carry me aimlessly through the bustling streets with the hope that the ground beneath me will soon become familiar.
How the fuck do I break this news too Evie though. It should be different, because she's no longer my girlfriend. Technically. But I don't think technicalities will help me out here. I don't really give a fuck about the fine print of what I did, and why I did it and whether it was cheating or not - I know it was morally a dumb fucking decision and a dick move.
The only thing I care about right now is how I'm going to get her back.
Because I will get her back.
Even if she despises me because of what Meg and I did, she has to understand why what happened, happened.
The only problem there is, I myself don't know why I did it - so how exactly do I make Evie understand? All I truly know about what I did, is that it was a distraction.
It was me forcing myself to get over Evie.
Evie. The girl I love. My soulmate.
Of course it's clear now. I wanted so badly not to care that my heart had just been torn apart by Evie, that I gave in to the first touch of a woman, knowing and hoping that if I only closed my eyes, then maybe I wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two.
It was nothing but wishful thinking. Because I was so blatantly wrong. No matter how beautiful Meg might be, and how safe she felt. She just wasn't the girl I love.
No one else ever will be.
Evie is the only one.
And hopefully, once I explain it all, and tell E how we're meant for each other - that we're soulmates - then maybe she can forgive me, and we can move past this.
