Chapter 38: The ending is just the beginning

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My alarm went off at 5:00 am. Today was the day. My first day of promotions. The first part of the day would be spent with Dawon at a photo shoot, which would end at 12:30. We would then break for lunch, and then head over to music bank for my debut stage. But first, I had to escape the tangle of limbs I was currently trapped in. Tae was in front of me, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close enough to me that I could roll over him onto the floor. It's safe to say that ever since Hoseok trapped me back at the hotel I have learned to untangle myself quite efficiently... for everyone BUT Hobi. Seriously he probably has just as much strength as he does hope.

I proceed to take a few steps away from the bed before running full speed screaming

"Today's the day!"

I jump and I land across tae and Jimin while laughing. They immediately groaned before attempting to pull me back into their arms, but I was quick to get up and run across the hall doing the same thing to Jin, Joon, and Kook. They groaned, but before they were gone I was out the door on my way to where Yoongi and Hobi were sleeping. The moment I entered I jumped straight onto Yoongi and Hobi, both of whom seemed to be already awake from my previous yelling because they quickly pinned me between them and tickled me into laughter. I am thankfully saved by none other than Jeon Jungkook. He pulls me from their grasp pulling my back into his chest. I then see Jin in front of me who places a kiss on my nose before pressing our heads together.

The doorbell rings and Jimin goes to answer it and soon enough Dawon and CHerry are bursting through the house to get me ready. The boys helped keep me grounded throughout the morning, and were given the day off to accompany me to the photoshoot and my debut stage.

The photoshoot passed in a blur, all I could think about was my stage. My first time performing in front of an audience, something I thought could happen only in my dreams. I feel someone grab my hands I looked up to see Joon staring down at me. His thumbs are rubbing back and forth across my knuckles as he says

"Ready to head to music bank? You're going to do great, after all, you are my starshine."

He gave me his dimpled smile as he led me to the van, where I sat between Yoongi and Joon. Somehow we had ended up in the same order that we were in after we left, Maknae line in the back, Joon, yoongi, and I in the middle row, and Jin and Hoseok in the front row behind Sejin who was driving. This time we weren't heading to a hotel, we were heading to the beginning of my dreams. This time I wasn't having a panic attack, even though I'm extremely nervous to perform. I can handle my mind now. This time I'm not numbed down by medications I can't pronounce the name of. This time it's not just the start of my healing, but the start of my dreams. I finally let myself be selfish for the first time in my life, I didn't wait for someone to give me something, I worked for it. I practiced through literal blood, sweat, and tears to debut. I pushed myself past so many limits, I asked when I didn't understand. I didn't let being autistic stop me from following my dreams. But most importantly I didn't let being autistic stop me from forming connections and building a relationship with the seven most wonderful people on this planet. My soulmates.

I am shaken from my thoughts when Joon takes my hand to help me out of the van, immediately I am bombarded with dispatch taking photos. I hold on to Joon a bit tighter, who immediately understands that the flashes are too bright. He wolves me to the other side of him and puts his arm around me, using his body to cover most of the flashing cameras. Jin is in front of us and notices what Joon was trying to cover me from and slows down to where he is just in front of Joon, effectively blocking the rest of the blinding lights.

Once we finally made it into the building I was ushered into a dressing room with Dawon who gave me the outfit that I wore in the music video. She did natural makeup, with the purple heart right under my right eye-something I was sure was going to become an iconic part of my makeup routine. My hair was parted on the left side, and styled in a record time of 35 minutes... Dawon couldn't decide what looked better. The last touch was some lilac and ocean blue glitter, which was going to be absolute hell to get out especially after I got it all over the guys.

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