A conscious state

Silence

Have you noticed the silence? The lack of my words? Have you noticed that I don't really care , that when you speak I'm not really here , in this dull pretentious universe you've built for yourself and I? I'm so tired of trying to explain who I am , all of you people are just wasting my words.

I stare at you blankly , I stare at you like I'm not in love. Maybe I'm not , maybe I'm tired of watering flowers , these flowers that never seem to bloom , maybe I'm dropping the weight , the weight of carrying you , of carrying them. I'm so tired of being a teacher , I cannot teach you how to pick out the messages behind less than 4 words.

I am so tired of being a believer , my mind makes me see things that are not there. I am tired of being a healer , trapped between your broken heart and mine. When do I ever get a taste of freedom? I spoke volumes , I spoke through 100 poems , more than 3000 words , I told stories until I had no more left to tell.

Now I've healed , now I'm preserved , now without my words , all you and I produce is silence. Do you feel it? I feel it too. How ironic it is that the loudest word in the dictionary is none other than 'quite'. Do you hear my silence?

                               -Liyah Smith