In love with my husband

Moving Out

I was now a mother-in-law. It's even scarier than when I was a new daughter-in-law. I wanted to become what mom was to me. I wanted to be mom, not Rahul's mom. People were right, a daughter, daughter-in-law in a house makes house even happier. 1 month had passed since the wedding and both our son and daughter were happy. So, we were quite shocked when Rahul announced something at dinner one night.

"We were thinking to move to a new house."

"Why? You don't like it here?" I ask, worrying if I had somehow made Shiksha uncomfortable.

"No, no, mom it's nothing like that. It's just, we want to be adults now. Before, either you or dad did everything in this house, others didn't do anything. If anyone had any problem, we went to you guys. I want us to be like that too. Figure out how to be independent." Rahul says.

"No! You cannot move." Mom declared pushing her chair and walking out.

What the. What happened? 

Everyone was shocked at this behavior of her. She never made serious issue out of anything. She was a chill person.

"You know, when parents are young, their children are the most important thing in their life, when they grow old, their grandchildren are the most important people. They are their best friends. She already lost one best friend. Payal. I know, she can visit whenever she wants, we can meet her frequently, but it's not like before. You announcing that you want to leave will not sit right with her. She will feel like she has lost both of her friends." Dad says to Rahul.

That's true. Mom and dad are very close to Rahul and Payal. They will not take them leaving well. The rest of the dinner was quiet. Dad took mom's plate to their room. Rahul felt guilty, I could see that. I looked at Avishek to see how he is taking the news. He just glared at the food. 

Great!

I heated a glass of milk and went to mom's room that night. I passed dad on the way and he said  he was going to check on Avishek. 

Good, that man needs a good checking up. I'm glad I'm not doing that.

I entered the room to see mom glaring at the TV. God, she is so cute.

"Here" I thrust the glass in front of her face.

"I don't want it" she glares at me.

I round the bed to sit on the other side of the bed and put the glass on the table beside it.

"You know, I am quite hurt that you don't want to live with me." I say pretending to be sad.

"What?" she says still not looking at me.

"Are you living in this house just because Rahul and Payal are here? If they aren't here, you are going to leave me?" I say quietly.

 I am very good actor. I can see mom turning towards me and her softening from corner of my eyes.

"That's not true and you know it" she replies.

"Then why don't you want Rahul to move? They are newly married. They must have some dreams" I say.

"You were newly married once. You did not move to another place" she grumbles looking away.

I would go out of my mind if I were alone with him. I am thankful I lived in this house.

"Not everyone is like us, mom. They are modern kids. And Rahul is right. They will have kids in few years. We won't be here forever to teach them" I say, trying to convince her.

"But- "a knock on the door interrupted us. Rahul and Shiksha were standing there like couple of school kids who were about to be punished.

"I am so sorry I hurt you earlier", Rahul says holding mom's hand. "I swear that wasn't my intention."

I elbowed her when she didn't reply.

"I'm sorry too. I acted like a small kid", mom says. "You can move if you want."

"We want to move but not when you are not happy with us." Rahul said.

"So, we have a solution" Shiksha grinned at mom. "Why don't you and granddad come live with us?"

Mom's face lit up but mine had become pale. Mom won't be here?

I look at mom in a panic and see her giggling and hugging Rahul like a kid.

"Are you sure? You said you want to be an adult. Us being there will make things difficult" mom says holding both Rahul and Shiksha's hand.

"We said we wanted to be responsible adults. What's more responsible than taking care of grandparents?" Rahul grins at her.

"You don't mind?" mom asks Shiksha.

"It was her idea", Rahul pulls Shiksha closer.

No, no, no, no. Mom and dad can't go. I can't live alone with Avishek. We both barely talk with each other. Who am I going to talk with now? Will I have to spend rest of my life without speaking too?

"But mom" I try to grab her attention.

She was so happy; she couldn't even hear. They all ran out of the room to tell dad. How can she leave me? How can they leave me? Do they want to get away from me as well? Is that why they always want to be with their grandchildren? All these years have they been tolerating me just for my kids?

You're useless. Even your own parents didn't want you. You think someone else will? You husband thinks you ruined his life, how can his parents love you? My insecurities started voicing out their thoughts.

No, I shook my head. I knew, I knew they loved me. But that what-if wouldn't leave my head. I don't know how I reached our room. I felt like I was moving but also, I felt so heavy I couldn't breathe.

"Seema, Seema, did you hear that? We are going to live with Rahul and Shiksha. Oh, I'm so happy", mom came towards me.

I think I smile because she grinned as well. But I couldn't speak. My eyes unknowingly welled up. I move out of the room before anyone sees.

I sat on the chair as though my legs gave out. What was I going to do now? I spent so many years alone, without having anyone to speak to, and then got mom and dad, and my children, now everyone is leaving, leaving me alone with a husband who didn't want me, who would rather spend time with his work than with me, husband with whom I haven't had a proper conversation.

I quickly wipe away my tears when I hear Rahul calling me. I made sure I looked okay before going to the room.

"Mom, we are looking at our new house. Come look." He pulls me by my hand.

It was a really nice house, cute 2 story with baby blue colored wall and a small garden at front. Mom would be happy, I thought. She could do gardening.

"Did you already buy it yet? Is it far?" I ask him.

"No, we have been looking at couple of houses and this stood out the most. We were thinking to consult dad if you guys agreed with us moving. You know we can't afford house." he laughs sheepishly.

Of course, they can't afford house right now. They are still young; they don't have enough money. He said to consult with Avishek. Is he planning to give them loan himself?

After talking a while and over the top excited mom, everyone went back to their room, and I slipped under comforter. Avishek turned off the light. 

How am I going to live with this silence for the rest of my life? Only one or two word answers, few muttered sentences. I lived an isolated life before, but then everyone came to my life and that void slowly filled. Now, everything Is going back to the way it was.

I hated it. I hated it so much. 

That's it for today. Please vote and comment if you liked what you read.