Darkest desires

a l w a y s

Draco POV
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Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this night.

The minute the death curse was sent from the tip of Voldemort's wand, I knew. And I should've known sooner. I should've known that she'd do it.

She always does...

...did things in the spur of moment, without further thinking into them. She acted with her head first and then with her heart.

But today, she acted with both.

When the curse hit her, everything went on slow mode. The whole world suddenly silenced, it was just the two of us for the last time. I caught her falling body and sat down to wet grass.

She didn't die just like that. She was conscious of what's happening for a few minutes and I used this time so...so irrationally. I should've told her how much I love her and I should've stroke her hair while assuring her that everything's fine.

No. I kept screaming and shaking her body like a maniac.

I held her in my arms close to my chest, I didn't want to let go, because I knew if I did, it'd be the very end.

Then I calmed myself down a bit and that's when it started.

When her green eyes slowly closed and her red cheeks faded, that's when I knew she was leaving me. She didn't see me anymore, but still managed to tell me she loves me.

She got that absent look on her face, like she left her body for good. I couldn't keep looking at her. I couldn't.

I looked around for the first time since it happened. It's a mess, a complete mess.

Belatrix and other Death eaters ran away, probably scared of what's Voldemort gonna do next. My parents are arguing and Blaise's mother is with her son, Mr. Blaise ran away with the rest of them. He was always a coward.

Voldemort is standing completely frozen and looking at Chloé. He knows he fucked up his plan. He killed his only chance - Chloé.

And he killed the love of my life. I should stand up and kill him right on spot, but I want to stay with Chloé. I can't leave her now.

"NO!" Screamed Voldemort in agony.

It's a horrible, scary scream. Lucius quickly ran to me and grabbed my arm and my mother's.

"We have to go." He said, out of breath.

Before we shifted home, I quickly grabbed Chloé's body with me. I need her with me, i can't leave her there.

Lucius shifted all four of us into our living room. Him and mother left me alone with Chloé. Mom couldn't look at my face. I know she couldn't. She feels guilty for all of this and in the end, she is. If my parents didn't make me join the fucking Death eaters, none of this would happen.

I'm alone in the living room with Chloé's body in my arms and that's the first time I realized she's gone.

She's gone and she's never gonna come back. My Chloé, the only person I was ever nice to, the only person I ever loved, the only person who cares about me.

Everything I've planned in my future was with her. She was supposed to be my wife, I'd buy her everything she'd want, we'd be happy and most of all, we'd have each other.

How am I supposed to go on without the only light in my life? How can I survive this?

I can't believe she's gone.

Yesterday, we were falling asleep together, with her body close to mine, stroking her hair and saying nice things to her ear.

Now, I'm holding her dead body.

How am I supposed to get over this?

I'm looking at her face and hoping her eyes will suddenly open, she will make one of her beautiful smiles and she will tell me everything's okay.

"COME BACK!" I screamed from my whole throat.

Tears started to run from my eyes once again.

"Don't leave me alone, please...everyone leaves me alone."

I grabbed her unconscious face and placed my forehead on hers.

It was supposed to be me.

I can't think, my mind isn't working. I can't make myself believe that she's really gone. No, no no no.

When I put her head on my thighs, I heard something crack. When I realized what it is, I started crying even more.

It's the box of my promise ring for Chloé. I had it in my pocket and waited until all this ends. I wanted to take her someplace nice and put it on her finger.

I put it out of my pocket. The box was cracked a little bit, but the ring inside is fine.

I screamed and threw the ring to the wall. The box fell apart completely.

"You were supposed to be my wife, remember? Not break my heart." I whispered to her.

I stayed with her until the morning, crying and sobbing over her body, remembering every moment we spent together. Good or bad. It's raining outside, the raindrops are banging on the windowsill hard.

When I've cried all my tears, I leaned over to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

I don't know how I'm going to recover from this, but I know I'm never going to be the same. I lost my love, I lost my only purpose in life.

Maybe I'll meet her soon.

Whatever happens next, I know I will always love my Chloé.