My brain hurts

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Y/n's Pov

"Y/n, you've gotta hurry up," Hoshi says. "We're gonna be late."

"I'm coming," I say. "I'm coming."

"I'm coming into the bathroom," she says. "Cover yourself if you're naked."

"Hey Hoshi," I smile awkwardly. "Ready for nationals?"

"Uh... Maybe I shouldn't let you go and hang out with your boyfriend at night," she says.

"No, no, no, these aren't from yesterday," I say. "Wait I didn't do anything, this was from my hamster."

"Well... it's time to go," she says. "But we'll have time to cove rit up on the bus if you want."

"Yes please," I say. "Wait no, I... I don't know."

"We'll onto the bus then you can make up your mind," she says. "Alright?"

"Yup," I nod my head. "Let's go, right now. Volleyball, I sure do love that sport."

"Of course you do," she laughs. "Now come on."

-

"Woah Y/n," Kaori says. "What a nice display."

"This is just reminding me of how lonely I am," Nori mutters. "It's depressing."

"I'm gonna execute myself," I say as I plop down into my seat. "And break up with my boyfriend?"

"Why though?" Kaori asks.

"Just kidding, I won't ever break up with him," I say. "But I hope he stubs his toe and then his toe turns purple and falls off. But I want it to grow back as a pretzel."

"Well, that's descriptive," Hoshi says. "So what will it be?"

"It's just a day, I can survive looking like this," I say. "But we've gotta beat whatever team we're facing quickly, so then I can get my jacket back on."

"Yeah, we're gonna crush them," Nori says. "Badly."

"Two sets," Kaori says. "And we'll win, no more."

"Then I'm gonna slap Kei," I say. "Steal his jacket, call him ugly, and be on my way."

"I'm jealous," Nori says. "I want a relationship like that."

"Sounds like the kind of one I had with my babysitter," Hana snickers. "Minus the fucking."

"I really don't need this in the morning," coach sighs. "Please save it for late."

"Jokes on you, he is my baby sitter," I say. "Suck it. Ima take a nap, don't leave me on the bus."

-

"Okay girls, so what did I say about- Y/n the match is about to start, are you listening?" a coach asks. "Y/n, pay attention."

"I am paying attention," I say. "Go on."

"Where is she-?" she pauses. "Stop making googly eyes at your boyfriend."

"I am not making googly eyes at him," I cringe. "I'm silently cussing him out, there's a difference."

"Yeah coach, don't worry about her," Nori says. "Just another one of her episodes."

"Oh be quiet Nori," Kaori says. "Or I'll receive the ball right up your ass."

"Permission to serve a ball into the stands at Kei?" I ask. "I promise to make it up with three more points."

"You are not throwing away a serve like that," she says. "Or you'll be benched for the rest of your life."

"That's something I'm willing to sacrifice," I say. "But are you?"

"No serving bass into the stands," she says. "Understood?"

"Yeah fine," I shrug. "So what was your game plan?"

"Win," she says. "With force."

"Hey, shouldn't we be playing nice?" I ask laughing. "Sportsmanship is key."

"Should I put the clips from this match into your highlights?" she asks. "The ones we send to the parents?"

"You won't," I say.

"I will," she says. "I promise that I will."

"No, you won't because then everyone will be blamed for me looking like a hoe," I laugh. "You, the principal, me, the team I could go on. And she'll e really mad because i'll give the family a bad rep, and her parenting skills will be-"

"Okay fine, let's call it a truce," she says. "Go and win."

"Why does she always get away with saying stupid stuff?" Nori complains.

"Because her mom fires people for a living, and yours makes people smile," coach says. "And I'd like to live a long life."

Okay, I won that one.


Guys, Y/n isn't getting railed rn. Calm down, you horny children.

-Crouton

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