ᴜɴᴅᴏɴᴇ | ᴅ.ᴍ

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

IT is absolutely terrifying to let someone in and let them see the darkest corners of your soul, the reason why you cry, and why they make you so happy. It is absolutely terrifying because you're scared that they might run away with your secrets and never give them back to you.

I was absolutely terrified to let him out of all people to see the vulnerable side of me. That a piece of me was dying each and every moment as that memory replayed in my head, I had no sort of closure to allow myself to move on. That night is the reason I'm holding myself from everything.

I'm scared. I may act like everything around me is completely fine and I am okay, but inside I feel like I'm crumbling into small little pieces and it terrifies me to know that I may not be able to come out of that trap inside of me. That it will become the crumpled-up piece of paper thrown away in the trash can.

"Ever since I missed the very first class for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Snape has not let me catch a break," Bonnie's voice made me break out of my thoughts as I focused on what she was saying." He bombarded me with five fucking essays and two detentions for not being at the very first class. He is the definition of insane." We sat in class as we worked on our given assignment to rewrite a few of the spells that we learned over our weekend homework. We're supposed to write on a piece of paper and turn it in as classwork participation as a guarantee that we did our reading.

"Bonnie, we've had Snape as our teacher for quite a few years now, I don't think his behavior should come as a surprise anymore," I spoke as I held the delicate quill in my hand, scribbling down the spells so I can get it over with as soon as possible. "To make you feel better he went easy on you, well on our house. He usually takes fifty points away, ten essays, and five detentions from other houses for missing the first day." She widened her eyes as she looked into mine.

"Twice the fucking work? Okay, he has officially passed insanity." She groaned as she secretly worked on her essays in class as I did her work for her, trying to make it look as different as I possibly can. I let out a chuckle at her words as my eyes looked up to meet the familiar grey ones.

Time felt stilled. It always does when I'm around him.

It wasn't just a normal mistaken eye contact from him, it was on purpose. He was already looking at me before I did. We stared at each other longer than the average time. It was different. I took a slight breath in as I looked away, down at the piece of parchment as I admired the quill in my hand trying to distract my head from his glaring eyes.

I haven't spoken to him since the class panicking incident. He was there for me when I needed someone, out of all people it was him and weirdly he knew exactly what to do and how to do it as if he had done this before. I haven't spoken to him ever since he took me to my dorm and laid me on my bed making sure I was safe. Amelia told me. No one else besides her knows, thankfully.

You'd be thinking to yourself right now about how I haven't thanked him for being there for me, how he was a source of comfort and didn't use it as a method to taunt me. Believe me when I say I want to say something but it's like a physical force is holding me back, a sense of fear and unsure of how to react.