The Firefighter Who Rescues Me

Chapter 21 ♚ Big News

Sometimes sessions with Gina were like a standoff at a western movie, where we stared at each other waiting for the other to talk. I was at a severe disadvantage, not just because the clock was ticking and she charged by the hour, but because if I didn't spill all my secrets then there was no actual session to be had.

Still, on our next appointment I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Not because I was being difficult like in the past, I just didn't even know where to start. But I had to say something. She would be my testing ground before I told the people who mattered the most—who would kill me and then make sure Pace turned out missing.

It should be a lot easier with Gina. She was a trained psychologist and probably swore some sort of oath to remain impartial or something.

My lips remained glued.

She glanced at the watch on her wrist in a clear show of power, because she could've just as easily seen the time on her laptop. I fidgeted, sitting at the chair where Margaret's son probably did his homework in the past, and using his mom's computer for a therapy session that hadn't gained any traction in twenty minutes.

For the first time since I knew her, Gina broke and spoke first. "I can tell whatever is going on has truly shaken you and I want to reassure you I won't put any more stress on you. I'll be here to listen when you're ready to talk."

"You say that but you'll still charge me for an hour of silence."

Mierda, me ganó.

We both knew that. Gina smiled at having made me talk.

I drew in a deep breath. Here went nothing.

"So, you know I have a boyfriend, right?"

She nodded. "Yes, a surprising development but a welcome sign of improvement."

"I improved, alright."

I adjusted my sweatshirt, laying it wrinkle-free over my flat stomach as though that measure of control could compensate for the loss of it in any other aspect of my life.

Back on track, I continued, "I improved so much that we had sex like rabbits."

Anyone else would've reeled back in shock not just at the statement, but at the enormity of it coming from someone like me.

Not Gina. She remained calm.

"I guess," I said, licking my lips and biting them hard. "That maybe I felt so safe with Pace I wanted to make up for years of no intimacy. And with him it isn't just sex, it isn't just a guy using my body to get off. With him it's like we're sharing a language only the two of us speak, you know?"

Gina nodded like she knew and I smiled. Good for her.

The gesture dissipated when I recalled the words and brought them forth. "But uh, there were consequences. It turns out we're pregnant. I am pregnant."

That did have an impact. Gina's eyes went wide behind her spectacles and her jaw dropped. All the way. In a way that looked painful. Did she dislocate it and was that why she wasn't closing her mouth?

Nope. She recovered, cleared her throat and rearranged herself back to perfect stillness.

A full minute of silence passed.

"Gina?"

"I'm processing," she said and I got it. It took me days to process it, too. "Tell me what happened."

"That's the thing, we don't know." I shrugged, as if I weren't talking about the most monumental thing in my life. Which was saying something, aight. "We wore condoms but... surprise, I guess."