Trudence Nesanti Cole | Trudy. Chicago Illinois. _________________________
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" Wake up bitch!" Feeling cold ass water being poured on me made rise up fast in my bed. And dry my now wet face off.
" Where the fuck my cigarettes!?" My mama shouted snatching my covers from off me.
" I hate you." I spat. "And?" She laughed looking at me like I was crazy.
" I tried aborting you twice, you ain't my favorite person in the world either."
As you can see I lived in a toxic ass household with a toxic ass ain't shit mama, who hated me all because her ex boyfriend raped me.
Doesn't make sense does it?
exactly.
And because of that it's part of the reason why I'm always staying with Lucky or staying with Durk. I guess you could say that I'm trying to run away from my problems, but sometimes it's hard to run away knowing she won't do well without me here.
" I don't understand why you hate me so bad?" I turned around facing her with tears blurring my vision. I hated the fact that my emotions always got the best of me when I would confront her about how she treated me.
But then again she was my mama. And despite all she's done to me I still had so much love for her. " What did I do?" I asked again since she had ignored me the first time.
" You ruined my life." She stated dryly.
" You made my man leave, you make all my bills higher, and you always running the streets with that dirty ass boy!"
" HE RAPED ME MAMA!" I cried knocking the lamp off my dresser in anger. " He raped me."
" And you heard him.. because I saw you standing outside my door when he left." I shook my head at her once her eyes widened.
" Trudy I- I had no choice baby he would've did it to me a—"
" So you let him do it to me? I was 10 mama!" I shouted getting in front of her face while clenching my fist.
" YOU BEEN BLAMING ME FOR HIM LEAVING ALL THESE YEARS BECAUSE YOU KNEW YOU WAS WRONG, AND THAT SHIT EATS YOU UP EVERY DAY!"
" I DID IT FOR YOU!" Her hand connected with my face making my head fly towards the side.
" Baby I'm so sorry." She tried grabbing me but I snatched away from her fast.
I had a really bad temper so trying to prevent myself from going upside her head, was hard. Which is another reason why I don't see her reasons for treating me like shit.
The respect I had for her has always been so high, to the point it never mattered what she did or said to me sometimes I'd just brush the shit under the rug and keep it pushing.
