Endless Curse | ScarBeauty

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

When Veronica Burks has to face the pure tragic death in Salem during the witch trials the next day, real witches gifted her a lasting present: An endless curse where continuous reviving life was really - death itself.

Her lonely travel each time she died ended when a man she slept within a one night stand took the bullet and died with her.

She reincarnated again. But this time

Pierre Jeno, a romantic french, will wake up with her to go through death all over again.

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YOUR COVER: (10/10) The way you presented the photo and font was very professional and nicely done! You used an appealing photo relevant to your story, and your title was easily the largest text on your cover. Well done!

YOUR TITLE: (8/10) One thing I appreciated was that I was able to connect your title to your story just by reading your blurb. The title fits your story perfectly. I did take off two points because the title is also pretty generic, and could fit other stories. The title is perfectly fine the way it is, but just be aware that in the future, it's probably better to find a title that only fits your story.

YOUR BLURB: (3/5) Your blurb was very clean and precise! There were a few phrases or words that were off. For example, in the first sentence, you could get rid of the phrase, "the next day." Along with that, you misused the word "within," because it means "in." Essentially, you're saying, "when a man she slept in a one night stand," which doesn't make sense. A correct way to say this would be, "when a man she slept with one night." I also removed unnecessary repetitive information here. By saying she slept with a man one night, that's the same thing as a one-night stand, so you don't need to say both. You also have an incomplete sentence with the phrase, "But this time." I suggest that you combine the last two paragraphs together. If I were to clean up this blurb further and correct spelling/grammar issues, it would look something like this:

When Veronica Burks has to face the pure tragic death in Salem during the witch trials, real witches gifted her a lasting present: An endless curse where continuous reviving life is really—death itself.

Her lonely travel each time she died ended when a man she slept with took the bullet and died with her.

She reincarnated again. But this time, Pierre Jeno, a romantic French, will wake up with her to go through death all over again.

YOUR HOOK: (4/5) The first sentence immediately captured my attention. You did a wonderful job at piquing my interest. However, the second paragraph had a few grammatical mistakes, and it was difficult to comprehend the information. I'll explain more on shortening/tightening and making this information more clear to your readers in your chapter reviews. I also realized after reading your story that Pierre wasn't a "one-night stand," so I don't know why you included that in your blurb. She had been with Pierre for about two months now, so make sure to correct that information.

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