Reason [BNHA x HxH!Reader]

[x.4] Crack Chapter Pt. 2

[Y/n]: Can you not?
Mineta: Can I not what? All I'm doing is standing here breathing.
[Y/n]: Exactly.

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[Y/n]: Dadzawa, I screwed up big time...
Aizawa: Given your daily life experiences, you're going to have to be more specific.

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[Y/n]: I'm so glad we're on the same page!
Kurapika: No, we are not on the same page. We're not in the same book, or even the same library!

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[Y/n]: What time is it?
Kaminari: I dunno, pass me that recorder.
[Y/n] passes recorder:
Kaminari plays recorder extremely loud:
Bakugou: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FUCKING RECORDER AT 2AM?!
Kaminari: It's 2am.

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Iida: You have seven chairs and ten people, what do you do?
Uraraka: Have everybody stand!
Midoriya: Bring three more chairs.
[Y/n]: I sit first and let everybody else duke it out.
Bakugou: Kill three.

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[Y/n]: YO, Aizawa, what goes up but never comes down?
Aizawa: The amount of stress you bring upon me.

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Hisoka: Ah, guess what I'm about to get <3
[Y/n]: On my fucking nerves?

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Bisky: How did none of you hear what I just said?
[Y/n]: I've been zoned out for the past two hours.
Gon: I got distracted halfway through.
Killua: Ignoring you was a conscious decision I made.

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[Aizawa, trying to get the class pumped up for training]
Aizawa: Who's got the guts to tell me off? Who's gonna tell me off?
Bakugou: Shut the hell up!
Aizawa: That's it, Bakugou. That's it. Who's gonna beat him?
Mina: Get outta here, stupid ass!
Aizawa: Yes, that's it!
Kirishima: You're a joke! You're the worst teacher I've ever met!
Aizawa: Kirishima, that's great. I like the delivery because I felt your anger.
Jirou: You're a loser and you have body odor.
Aizawa: Okay, okay, now is everyone nice and pissed off?
Class 1-A: YEAH.
[Y/n]: raises hand
Aizawa: Freecss?
[Y/n]: You.
Aizawa: Freecss, we've already told me off, it's time to move on.
[Y/n]: You're tacky and I hate you.
Aizawa: Okay, Freecss, see me after class.

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[Y/n], climbing onto a roof: GUYS I'M GONNA DO A BACKFLIP ONTO THIS TRAMPOLINE!!
Midoriya and Uraraka, chasing her: [Y/n] NO!
Mina, Sero, and Kaminari: Go, [Y/n], Go!
Todoroki, leaning over to Kurapika: Bet you 500 yen she breaks her leg.
Kurapika: Bet you 1,000 that she breaks her neck.
Jirou, looking into the camera like in The Office: I need new friends.

—·—·—

Shigaraki: Empty altruism won't save you now. Any last words?
[Y/n]: Yeah, what's altruism?

—·—·—

Hisoka: Am I dressed alright? <3
[Y/n]: The answer to that has never been 'yes'.

—·—·—

Aizawa: You have to treat everybody's views, no matter what they believe, with equal respect.
[Y/n]: What? Even idiots?

—·—·—

Leorio trying to get Kurapika to practice self-care: Water can solve all of your problems. Dehydration? Water. Losing weight? Water. Clear skin? Water.
[Y/n], hanging upside-down from the hotel bed: Tired of someone? Drown them.

—·—·—

[Y/n]: So, Shouto, what's your type?
Todoroki: Silky [h/c] hair, confident, brave, from another world, pretty oblivious.
[Y/n]: WHAT?! There's somebody else from another world?! I want to meet her!
Todoroki: Did I mention oblivious?
[Y/n]: Yeah, I got that!
Todoroki: . . . Add in dumbass, too.

—·—·—

Leorio: Wait for it, wait for it... 9:01. Kurapika is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let's do this. Who's got theories?
Gon: His alarm clock didn't go off?
Leorio: All three alarm clocks, all with battery backups? Come on, who's gonna take this seriously?
Killua: Maybe he was taken in his sleep.
Leorio: That's what I'm talking about! Super dark, Killua, but definitely more plausible than Gon's idiotic alarm clock theory.
[Y/n]: I bet he tucked himself too tight in his bed and got stuck.

—·—·—

Chrollo: Last I heard, you couldn't use nen for a while.
Chrollo: But now it seems you can, again.
[Y/n]: And last I heard, you were a little bitch.
[Y/n]: That doesn't seem to have changed, though.

—·—·—

Chrollo: Is this the part where you say that if I hurt her, you'll kill me?
Kurapika: No, [Y/n] is perfectly capable of killing you herself.

—·—·—

Aizawa: I've known these kids for a day and a half.
Aizawa: But if anything happened to them, I'd kill everybody in this room, and then myself.

—·—·—

All Might: Please keep an eye on Mineta today, he's going to say the wrong thing to somebody - probably [Y/n], again - and get punched.
Aizawa: Oh sure, I'd love to see Mineta get punched.
All Might: Try again.
Aizawa: Oh, I'll stop Mineta from getting punched.
All Might: Correct!

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i lowkey wanna do one of these chapters but as crackhead texts my friends and i have sent each other