Thirty Five: Truth

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A podcast about bad decisions plays loudly through my headphones as I run on the old treadmill that sits in the corner of my dusty garage

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A podcast about bad decisions plays loudly through my headphones as I run on the old treadmill that sits in the corner of my dusty garage. Silver tools are thrown across the floor from last night's drunken episode. It seems like the more I drink, the more violent I become. I press the button on the treadmill to make it faster then close my eyes as sweat rolls down my forehead. Once again, I see Hazel's terrified face when I close my eyes. The worst part about it is that no matter where I go, what I'm doing, or who I'm with, her facial expression never leaves my mind.

I push my body past its limits as I continue to up the speed on the treadmill, making my legs more sore than they already are. The aces and pains don't stop me from running, matter of fact, they make me go harder. I deserve this pain. I deserve every bad thing that's coming my way, and I know it's coming because nothing good ever happens to me besides my deceased daughter, Milani, and my unborn child. Realizing that my body is dripping sweat and shaking, I stop the treadmill and walk back inside my house. The moment my foot is about to hit the steps, there's a knock on my door so I grab a towel from the pile of unfolded clothes on my couch and dry my face.

"FUCK!" I groan when I see see my pops looking back at me, his Uber waiting for him.

"Fuck is right." He says as he rolls over my toe and comes into the house, looking around with his nose snarled up. "It's filthy in here. You living like a fucking pig! What the hell wrong with you?"

"Man, look, I know why you here so say what you gotta say and gone on about yo business. I ain't in the mood for conversation."

Without a response, my dad looks me dead in my eyes as he pulls a gun out on me, aiming it at my chest.

"Y-you forreal right now?? This what you doing!!? You came here to kill me!!?" I cry out, tears flowing down my face. Never in a million years would I have thought that my old man would betray me.

"Why you do it?" He asks, still holding the gun towards me.

"I had to and I swear to God, I didn't know it was her. Hell, Ian even know she worked at a strip club!!!"

"Drummer, what the fuck you mean you had to? You ain't never let no nigga punk you into doing nothing so wassup? I'm yo pops. You can tell me anything."

Walking up to him, I place the gun on my forehead, tears still pouring from my eyes like a rain shower. "You ain't my pops!! You came here to blow my brains out so do it!! Do everybody a favor!!" I yell, waiting for the gun to go off, but it never does.

"Nah, son, death is too easy for someone like you. You deserve to suffer. You can't even look me in the eyes and tell me why you shot my fiancé. Just know, this yo last time fucking with her. I'll put you in the ground beside yo mama before I let you fuck up my happiness."

"What you just say?" I ask him as my eye twitches. Before he can even repeat himself, I grab the gun from him and turn it towards him, the same way he did me. "Yo best bet is to take yo ass outside, get in that Uber, and go take care of yo bitch!"

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