Top Bunk

DAY 13

⌚ 12:00 AM

"Imagine this, then - your parents fight. A lot."

"Not very hard to imagine."

"I got it, El. Anyway. Your parents fight."

"A lot."

"And you don't know why the hell they're fighting and why they won't stop."

"Again, not very hard to imagine."

"Look. Just because I'm being nice to you doesn't mean you can sass me and get away with it. Do you want me to tell you why or not?"

"Which why are you answering, anyway? The one about why you cry in your sleep or why you quote unquote, 'get me'?"

"Both. May I go on, now?"

"Since you're so polite, I will permit you."

"I'm resisting the very strong urge to punch you in the vagina."

"Don't lie, Grace. You'd love it."

"Y-yeah, okay, good night."

"No! I mean, I was kidding. Tell me."

"Ugh. Where was I?"

"I don't know why my parents are fighting and why they won't stop."

"Right. Your family was great before. You were rich - hypothetically, by the way. I know you're not rich."

"That's so discrimina - "

"You were happy. You loved each other. Your parents...they loved each other. And then they fight. You can't do anything about it. You want to, but you can't because they won't let you...El, are you crying?"

"N-no. Don't look at me like that. Keep going."

"You're thirteen when your parents finally tell you. That's uh, that's the answer to why I get you. What they - they told me was what your mom told you. Except for like, the your dad's not actually your dad thing."

"I can't believe you heard that. But I thought - "

"What? What did you think?"

"That your family - you were...fine, I guess?"

"Well, we weren't."

"..."

"But whatever. Now imagine this: your parents tell you they want to fix it, they're trying to fix whatever the fuck their problems are and you want to help but they're telling you you don't have to, it's going to be fine, it's just between the two of us, Grace, don't worry, Grace, fuck, I'm crying sorry..."

"It's okay. Don't worry. I'm kinda maybe crying, too."

"Then - then, almost a year later, you hear your mom crying and crying and your dad leaves and he tells you to stay with your mom for the day because she needs you. And you think, 'why should I do what you say, you stuck your dick into another woman screw you but not literally because clearly you've been doing all the screwing yourself.' But your mom, she's crying and you can hear it through your walls so you end up staying with her anyway. She's - she's crying a-and you're crying and both of you are hugging each other and you both stink and she's telling you, 'it's so hard, Grace, I can't do it anymore, I can't, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you, I love you so so so much, don't forget that, I love you, just remember this moment...remember how we're - we're happy,' and she...and, and - "

"Grace, calm down. You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, I just...it's hard going back to it."

"Then don't."