phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 18: kids

[you're moving so fast,

leaving me behind]

Hana's POV

In the morning, my stomach grumbles as a pungent smell of vomit senses throughout my body. I run outside and puke on the ground, alarming everyone inside. Changbin runs out to me.

"Are you okay? Did you eat something bad?" Changbin asks, patting my back. I shake my head, not recalling eating anything the night before.

"I feel really nauseous," I say, feeling a little dazed and irritated.

Changbin helps me back inside and lays me down on the floor with a backpack supporting my head. I feel a ball in my throat and a smell of puke in my nostrils.

"I found this for stomach pain," Jungwoo hands me a bottle of tums and I thank him.

"Hana..." Taeyong says uneasily as he stands above me. "Did you..." He clears his throat. I realize what he is trying to say and I sit up. I hold my stomach and look nervously at my group of friends.

We found a pregnancy test in the store and I took it to the bathroom. I waited for two minutes, praying that I'm just not feeling well. I can't bring another baby into this world especially when Hyunjin and I are completely separated from each other. After a short two minutes, I stare at the pregnancy test with wide eyes. A knock at the door interrupts the tense moment.

"Hana? You okay?" Changbin asks me. I gulp and slowly open the door. I show him the test and his jaw drops as does the rest of my friends.

"Holy shit." Mark says and Yuta hits him.

I can't believe it either. I hold my stomach again and tear up a little. I look at it and sigh.

Being pregnant is already not the best feeling but being a pregnant half-zombie is worse. When I was carrying Lucy, I was mean to everyone and never wanted to go outside. I felt so stressed but Hyunjin was there for me. Now there is no Hyunjin. I look at my friends anxiously.

"Don't be scared," Haechan comforts me. "It's a gift." I nod and look down again.

"If you need anything let us know," Taeil says.

"We'll protect you with our lives," Yuta says. I feel so bad. They have to deal with this. They have to deal with me. I try to hide my expression but Changbin sees right through me.

"You're not a burden, Hana," Changbin says. "We're your friends and we're here for you." I smile and nod.

9 months later

If you told me I would be giving birth to a baby in a trailer with 9 boys surrounding me before the apocalypse happened, I wouldn't believe you. But here I am, I let out my final push and hear crying. My watery eyes now fall and the sweat from my face cools my hot skin. I smile and begin crying when I hear my baby. Johnny hands it over to me and places it in my arms. Changbin covers me up with a blanket.

It's a boy. He has the same smile as Hyunjin but my eyes. I cooe at him and he stops crying. He stares at me and stays silent making me cry even more. I smile as I kiss his forehead. Oh how much I wish Hyunjin was here.

"Hi, baby," I whisper. His eyes are a beautiful green even though Hyunjin and I both don't have green eyes. They remind me of Hyunjin's eyes when he goes zombie mode.

"His eyes," Mark points out.

"Yeah, they're green," Changbin says. "How's that possible?"

"Maybe it's the zombie part of him," I guess.

"They're beautiful," Taeyong says with a smile.

"What's his name?" Jungwoo asks. I think for a while as I stare into his green eyes.

"Hyun-ho," I say and hold his tiny hand. "He wants to help others and empathizes with them. His English name," I think hard and smile softly. "Christopher." Changbin realizes my reference and smiles at me.

"I like it," He says.

"Hwang Christopher Hyunho, can I just call him Hyunho? Christopher is hard to say," Haechan says. I giggle and nod.

"I'm sticking with my boy Chris," Johnny says and Mark fist bumps him. I laugh softly and look back down at Hyunho. He's sleeping now. If only Hyunjin was here to see this.

Hyunjin's POV

"So are you going to teach me how to super speed or what?" Lucy asks me. Felix and I look at each other with confused faces. She's only five years old now. Why is she growing up so fast?

"You're so sassy, Ms. Lucy," Felix kneels down to her eye level.

"I learned from Uncle Hyunjin," She points at me and I raise my hands in surprise. "Now make me go fast like you guys, please."

"Fine, fine," I smile. "You have to have a strong stance, bend your knees a little just like how you are usually about to sprint." Lucy follows me, looking determined. "Now imagine where you want to go in the distance and run." Lucy lowers her arms and looks at me with a confused stare.

"Where should I go?" Lucy asks. I look out in front of us at large field. I imagine Hana at the far end of the field and smile.

"Imagine someone you love all the way over there and you want to run up to them and hug them," I point to the distance and Lucy thinks for a while and smiles. She fixes her stance again and zooms off.

"She did it!" Felix exclaims as we watch her run so fast down the field.

We see her stop and she is jumping up and down excitedly. We wave to her and smile too. Suddenly a zombie emerges from the forest. I gulp and we both speed over. Felix pushes the zombie on the ground and shanks it before it touches Lucy. I hug her and make sure she is okay.

"Are you okay?" I ask, holding her tight.

"Don't worry, I'm just fine," Lucy says in a sweet voice. I look up at Felix who is out of breath and shocked just as I am.

"Maybe we should stop practicing super speeding today," Felix says and I nod.

"C'mon let's head back," I say and stand up, carrying Lucy to make sure she doesn't run away.

When we get back home, I put Lucy to bed and meet Felix in the kitchen. We have been staying at this abandoned farm since it's far away from the city and main towns which could have more zombies.

"I knew it was a bad idea to teach her," I mutter and sit down at the island of the kitchen. Felix sighs and hands me a granola bar.

"Hey, it's not your fault, she really wanted to learn. She just needs to understand the dangers out there," Felix tells me.

"I don't know how to raise her," I say. "I spent three years staying away from her as much as I can and now that I am here with her, I am so scared that I will cause something to happen to her." Felix sympathizes with me and stays silent. He pulls out a blank, blue journal for me. "What's that?" I remember Hana's journal. She used to always write in it every day.

"I found it while scavenging and was thinking about documenting in it but it seems like you need it more," Felix slides it over to me. I stare at it and remember Hana. "You should use it for destressing. That's what Hana used to use it for."

"You read her journal?" I ask, kind of offended because Hana did not let anyone read it.

"No, I would assume that's what she used it for though," Felix says. "Jeez, you get so jealous sometimes," Felix shakes his head. "I'll leave you to write in your diary." Felix teases and walks out of the kitchen. I smirk and remember how I made fun of Hana's diary.

What should I write about? I click the pen on the table that Felix left and open the book to a blank page.