Chapter 30 - If you doubt, just make sure no one notices it

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She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.

- Joanne Harris


I had never gone home for Easter break before. No one did usually, which is why I wasn't surprised when both the Hogwarts Express and Platform 9 and ¾ were almost deserted. I noticed my parents standing next to the Malfoys and the anxiety that had been building up since the beginning of the trip had only increased.

"Welcome home, Eleanor", my mother said and pulled me into a quick hug. I did the same with my father, but I didn't say anything. I knew better than to ask questions.

"Come on, let's go", my father said and apparated us back home. Just one and a half years and then I'd be allowed to perform magic outside of school. 

"How has your term been, honey?" my mother asked to break the tension. It had been quite terrible actually, considering what Adrian Pucey did. I hadn't told my mother about it, but she must have heard about it from Adrian's mum by now.

"It's been okay", I said, staring at the large building in front of me. Selwyn Keep, passed down from generation to generation. Since I was an only child, this would all be mine after my parents passed.

I remembered my father's explanation vividly. I want you to always be proud of your last name, Eleanor Selwyn. It translates literally to "castle comrade". It is why we live in such a beautiful place. The Selwyns live like royalty, because we deserve it. Last names were given based on what a person or family had achieved. Our ancestors earned that last name, Eleanor, and it's our job to continue earning it.

Those couple sentences were the reason why I prided my reputation so much. I needed to make them proud, those people I didn't know. I needed to earn my last name.

It was weird to be back in a form fitting dress and heels. To have no friends to hang out with before supper, to be back in the cold and dark manor, but it was the right place to be. It was home, home of the Selwyns.

"Eleanor, can you follow me, please?" my father asked as I was about to head back upstairs. I nodded and followed him through the hallways. We went to one of my favourite rooms, the family tree room.

The room had no windows to not damage the artwork that lined the walls and had done so for centuries. The Selwyn family tree, grand and proud.

"Do you remember spending time here?" My father asked. I did. We used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger. My father would tell me stories about all my ancestors and then I'd have to retell all of them to check if I had paid attention. There was great aunt Gormlaith Gaunt, married to Perceveric Selwyn; she had died honorably in battle after years of preaching and fighting for pure-blood supremacy, my uncle Dominic Selwyn, one of He Who Must Not Be Named's most trusted advisors during the First Wizarding War and the one cousin without a name who had been exiled after impregnating a muggle. It sure was an interesting family tree.

"I do", I mumbled, scanning the names, recognising very famous last names among my oldest ancestors. There were the Gaunts, the Prewetts, the Shafiqs and even Daphne's family tree was linked with mine, although somewhere in the nineteenth century.

"What do all of these have in common?" my father asked. "All except for your far cousin at least." He traced his finger over the black smudge that hid the name and face of the disgraced cousin. I knew what my father wanted to hear.

"They're all pure-bloods."

"Very good, Eleanor. Your mother and I have taught you a lot about blood status over the years, but never as explicitly. We didn't think it was necessary, but we have been proven wrong. It is very important that you understand and take on these beliefs, Eleanor."

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