Thoughts

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wow. 20k reads. that's a lot. thank you guys so much. <3 today we have a special chapter. enjoy george's thoughts and pov of everything that has happened!

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I never thought that I would end up here.

Florida is so different from England. Maybe it's the temperature. Or maybe it's the way people are. Either way, it's different.

Why did I come here?

Now that's a question I ask myself every day I wake up in Dream's apartment. Speaking of his apartment, it's actually very tidy. I would expect it to be a wreck!

Anyway, it's time for me to think back to an important reason.

The reason as to why I'm here.

I grew up in a religious household with strict parents. My parents even sent me to a Catholic school! Was the school great? Absolutely not.

"Don't do this, don't do that." Rules were supposed to be followed by everyone.

A few things they taught were  "correct" ways to do certain things. For example, the "correct" way to be in a relationship is to have a girl and a boy.

"Girls should be with boys and boys should be with girls. It's not girls with girls or boys with boys. If you do that, you will be sent to hell and God will never forgive you."

It's stupid. The rules are stupid. And you know what's even more stupid? Me.

I believed everything they said. It seemed right at that moment but now it's ridiculously wrong.

When did I stop believing those things? Not too long ago.

Dream would always "flirt" and mess around with me. He was always like that ever since I met him. Jokes are what I thought they were.

When that stupid blond confessed those strange things to me, I was speechless. My mind, my heart, everything was racing.

I honestly didn't know what that kind of feeling was. Perhaps it was the feeling of being uncomfortable. Maybe awkward? Something else?

"It's wrong to feel like this," is what I told myself. I couldn't handle it. His emotions just exploded out of nowhere. It was uncomfortable at the time because I just kept thinking about what Catholic school taught me.

A break was the best thing I could think of. It wasn't just because of Dream. I also extremely needed it.

My mum would always tell me that if I ever had feelings for guys, she would kick me out of the house. I was lucky because I never felt any romantic feelings for them.

Well, that was until I met a certain someone. You might be wondering who that someone is. Or maybe you already know who it is.

If you guessed Dream, then you're correct.

Now, I have never experienced something like this. The break between us helped me get rid of negative thoughts, which were some that told me to get away from someone like him.

When my thoughts said "someone like him", I'm guessing that they meant someone who likes the same gender.

Yes, it was strange of me to call him during the break. But that was because I was ready to end the break. I had learned something new about myself.

Another thing you might be wondering is why I didn't just leave messages. Well, I wanted to express myself by actually talking; not by text.

And that leads to another big thing.

Why I'm here in Florida.

What's better than expressing myself on a phone call? Doing it face to face. Just got to find the best time to do it.

To be honest, it was awkward to be here after I heard some...strange things on a call with Dream. "Oh George, why didn't you just hang up?" is probably what you're asking.

I couldn't.

My mind was telling me to, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was having a bit of a panic attack, you could say. Tears were flooding down my cheeks and there was no way to stop them. It upset me. But I know I couldn't stop him from living his life.

Moving on.

Spending all that time with Dream had made me find the real him. And also find out that there's a 99.9% chance he likes me. I mean, have you seen the way he talks to me?

Don't even get me started with the way he looks. Like, I know he was attractive by the way he described himself, but he's just...drop-dead gorgeous. He's definitely some type of angel from heaven. Oh, and those green eyes of his. I know they're green because he told me. I just wish I could see the real color. Can't forget about his freckles. He had never told me about them so I found out by myself. They look just like mine but darker and way prettier.

Do I like him? I most certainly do.

He makes me feel different; a good type of different. Just the thought of him makes me forget about everything the stupid Catholic school taught me. Good thing I moved out to start my own life. My mom would kick my ass if she found out I have feelings for a boy.

I know it's not fun to mess with people's feelings but I just love watching his face as I flirt back with him. Or watching his face when I do something fun. By fun I mean moaning.

Sometimes they(the moans) are staged and sometimes they're not.

It's weird, I know.

But what can I say, I'm touch starved. I'm a 24 year old man with no experience in love. I need the attention I never received growing up. Attention from Dream gives me energy. Almost like I need it to survive. If messing around with him is going to give me that attention, then I'll do whatever it takes.

I know for a fact that he has flirted around with lots of people before. I heard him have sex with Lucas, so what else can he do?

Ugh, Lucas. Who does he think he is? "This isn't the last time you'll see me?" What does he mean by that? I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

Dream is vigorous. He'll protect both of us, I'm sure he will.

Right?

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