Hopelessly Falling [book 2]

Chapter Fifty-Three

LIII
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Crystal's POV***

[Flashback- six months ago]

"Crystal. It's June. Summer just started. There will be plenty more times for us to-"

"That's what you've said every time. I just don't understand why you have such a strong need to hate all things happy and fun! You always have to act so miserable when we're with other people," I cut him off, and he rolled his eyes, leaning back on the bed.

"It was fucking beach volleyball. Why do you care so much?" He spoke back, and I crossed my arms.

We were all at Scarlett's beach house, where me and Ashton had been sharing the guest house, but would probably not be doing so tonight.

"Because I'm really getting sick of having to do all the fun stuff by myself. If you're not in the mood or having a bad day then that's one thing, but if I ask you to do something as stupid as beach volleyball with me, and clearly really want you to, then once in a while it would be nice if you put your grumpy ass attitude aside for a minute to do that stupid little thing with me," I complained. He sighed and rubbed his face, sitting up against the headboard.

"I'm not exactly used to doing stupid fun shit like that, C. I'm technically still new to this whole dating thing, but I'm trying," he grumbled. "Cut me some slack."

"I've been cutting you slack since day one, don't give me that shit," I glared, "I mean like, what the hell more can I do?!"

"It's not you," he growled, trying to keep himself calm and swinging his legs off the side of the bed, staring up at me from under his brow, "I would have fucking played if I knew you'd be this pissed about it."

"That's not the point-"

"I'm fucking trying, Crystal. Can't you see that?" He asked both irritatedly and exhaustedly.

"Not really, no." I replied. "Do you know how many times I have to apologize to people for your angsty-ass? Spoiler, it's a lot. So no, I don't really see this 'trying' of yours."

"Just, ugh," he grunted, "what are you saying?" He said and pinched the bridge of his nose, making it too obvious that he wanted to be done with this conversation. I crossed my arms again, anger and hurt twirling together in my mind.

"I'm saying that I feel like I'm tied to a heavy rock that's staying at the bottom of the ocean even though I'm trying to swim to the top and have fun up there with all our other rock people that are having a good time on a boat without us," I tried to put it into a metaphor, obviously not being successful.

"So you feel like I'm weighing you down," he more so just rephrased my words than asked for clarification, glaring at me slightly.

"Sometimes, yeah," I replied honestly, looking him up and down.

"You know, it's great and all that you're finally happy again and can do normal shit or fun things without faking your smile, but I'm not there yet, and I thought you understood that," he burned into me.

"I'm not there yet either!" I gaped at him, "but I'm trying to be! And this is how we get there, by trying."

"You can't just suddenly be happy again by wrapping a blanket of okay-ness around yourself! You're being goddamn delusional," he exclaimed back. For some reason, those words really stuck with me, and I felt a few tears come to my eyes.