Under the influence

Aaliyah

There are a number of things that stay unspoken between us , a million apologies I wish I could give to you on behalf of the world. We're so stuck in our heads , so engrossed in the fantasy of what we want to be that we forget and belittle the strength of the person we are in the present.

We smile at our friends genuinely and get lost in the joy we find in a crowd that sometimes we feel alone in. There are wounds on our heart that cannot be tended to alone , a certain amount of pain that can only be healed by letting people see us. You are misunderstood In so many ways , often perceived as emotionless and loveless but the truth is that this heart of ours thumps and bursts with vulnerability and affection.

When did we get so good at hiding that? When did the facade become so real? There are so many skeletons in the closet , so much pain held inside this form of ours and we forget that the past has whipped it's lashes upon our soul. We forget that there is still pain , still anger and absolute hurt. I am trying to fix us whilst still moving forward in the process , I am trying to and for now that is all I can do.

I hope that five years from now you are in the place you need to be , because this lifetime has dished out so much for you that I pray to the heavens you get even just a moment of pure happiness in your life. I apologize for how much pressure I put onto you and I apologize for all the things we keep swamped up inside. I am trying for us , I am trying to heal from both the present and the past.

                        -Liyah Smith