Chapter 12 - Choose

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"Well, well, what's that I see?" Mal commented, eager to switch the topic. She noticed a wallet-sized picture pinned on Ava's bulletin board. The brunette was surprised her friend could find it so easily, surrounded by dozens of larger photographs in a collage of memories. The image had been taken at the engagement party; Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos, Uma, Harry, and half a dozen others stood together raising punch glasses, smiling and holding one another. "You call that moving on?"

"I didn't want to forget it, the good part of that day at least," Ava remarked with a half-smile, delightfully watching Mal from her bed. "I wonder how they're doing."

"Jay's just fine," Mal replied without missing a beat.

"What?"

"We texted back and forth. Not often, but every once in a while for a few months. Neither of us has heard from Carlos, though. We figured he locked us out like you had."

"I wouldn't call it locking out," the college student defended. "I got a letter from him about a year ago. Just a Christmas card; I don't know how he found my address." A spark of gratitude flickered in her eye thinking about his thoughtfulness.

"Return address?"

Ava shook her head. "Guess he doesn't want to be found either."

"I'd give anything to reunite with the two fo them."

"Jesus, Mal, are you insane? Don't you know how obvious of a target that makes us? The only thing that's keeping me from kicking you out is the fact that I changed my identity. Twice!"

Mal turned to face her ex girlfriend. "You're overreacting," she remarked dismissively.

"I can't risk it all for a reunion. I have a life and a relationship and a career path."

"What, and I don't?" the shorter girl crossed her arms.

"Do you even have a job?"

"Actually, I'm training to be a police officer."

"Christ, have you lost your mind?! That would make you incredibly easy to find."

"And you suddenly care about my life, why? It didn't seem to matter when you cut me out of yours."

"I always cared about you."

"Yeah? Well it sure doesn't seem like it!"

"Because I'd choose you!" she blurted out, followed by an uncomfortable silence.

"What do you mean you'd 'choose' me?"

"Come on, Mal, we both know I would choose you over Caitlin and Mona in a heartbeat. I always cared about you. I cared about you enough to throw myself at whatever situation we got ourselves into. That's how we almost got killed the first time. That's why we all fled! Because the second you were in danger, I'd give myself up to save you. If you don't talk to me, don't tell me about the risky life you're living, I get to have a life of my own. I can't stop myself from protecting you because I fucking love you!" She paused to take a breath. "I told you, I fucking love you... I can't let myself ruin my life over you."

Ava let out a dreadful sigh, bringing her fingertips to the bridge of her nose.

"I slept with Emily," Mal exclaimed in an effort to shift the focus of their conversation yet again.

The brunette simply tilted her head to look up at Mal in disbelief.

"I slept with Emily. I met her in Rosewood one day when I was buying tomatoes because they didn't have any in Ravenswood. She came up to me, actually, thinking I was Alison. She reminded me so much for you. And I think we were both having a vulnerable moment so we slept together. Things between us didn't develop. We each had our own love, divorced or abandoned. I thought I was over you before I met her. Then it felt like I was back in Auradon. It was so refreshing, it felt like home again"–she began bringing herself to tears–"It felt like home because it felt like you. I miss home, Evie, I miss you." Mal inhaled deeply, crouching down to be at Ava's eye level and placing a hand on her knee. "Evie... where are you?"

"I can't be Evie for you, Mal." Ava's eyes shifted to look at the photo Mal admired before.

"But that's who you are! You shouldn't have to change yourself because of your parents, just–" she caught herself before saying his name. "Just like Ben first told us."

"Look where that got him," she couldn't help but mutter.

"Hey–"

"I want to go to school," Ava spoke sternly, turning back to the blonde. "I want to get my job at Vogue. I want to stay with Caitlin and Mona." Slowly and clearly she enunciated "I am happy. Let me be happy."

Almost with a look of desperation in her eyes, missing and desiring her old love, Mal whispered back, "And let me love you..." She inched closer, nearly forcing Ava to lean back. "Let me kiss you..." 

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