Don't Tell My Brother

Chapter 41 - Drive

"Why swimming?" Lucas asked, as they began to walk back down the path together. "I mean, of all the stupid things you could do while drunk, you chose swimming? What if you'd drowned?"

The swimming still baffled him. Baffled and frustrated, because while Mallory had said Damien liked it to clear his head, he still couldn't grasp why anyone would willingly do something so dangerous. And perhaps he still couldn't shake the image of a body being dragged from the water. Or the first sickly jolt of terror he'd felt when he'd heard Damien might've been at a lake.

"I wouldn't've drowned." Damien said, grinning down at him, slightly amused.

"You didn't know that. Accidents happen all the time."

"I'm a good swimmer. I made it out alright, didn't I? You didn't seem to concerned about my breathing when you were trying to stick your tongue down my throat." He laughed as Lucas began to protest, and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. A brush of lips against his hair, barely anything, but the casual, obvious affection still made Lucas melt embarrassingly easily. He dropped the frown. "You were worried about me." Damien sounded incredibly pleased about it.

"Yes, of course I was. Mallory tells me you're drunk out of your mind and you've gone for a swim in a lake in the middle of a forest at night, what was I supposed to do?"

"You ran there." Damien said, and he glanced skyward, grinning all over his face. "You were so worried you ran here, even though you can't run. I thought you were going to have a fucking asthma attack or something, the way you were carrying on. But still, you ran there."

"Yes, yes, it's very funny."

It was quiet for a while, but not uncomfortably so. Leaves crunched underfoot as they walked. Damien was staring off into the middle distance, a soft smile playing around his lips. And then, snapping out of it, he began to speak again. Never one to be silent for long.

"I used to go swimming with Mateo. After the accident, his physical therapist recommended it to help get stronger, since he can't run. I went with him, because..." Damien paused, glancing down, "...I don't think he liked being alone there. He looked a little worse than he does now, and his limp was pretty bad, and people would stare, and he kept making excuses. So I went too. And I really liked it. It's dumb, I know, but it's like...if you're underwater, right, and you're just doing the same thing again and again, just swimming lap after lap, you can sort of forget everything else. I don't have to think, or feel, or any of that. It's nice. Dumb, but nice."

"I don't think it's dumb." Lucas said quietly. He didn't want to interrupt. Damien didn't speak like this often, was probably only this open because he was still a little drunk despite the cold water, and Lucas wanted to hear as much as he could.

"Right, so when I was here, drinking with Mal, I was...a little bit sad. And angry. Really, Lucas, I was disappointed in your taste. I'm a catch, y'know."

"Of course you are." Lucas said, and although he'd meant it to be a little sarcastic it came out much more earnest than he'd anticipated.

"Exactly. So when she walked off, and wouldn't tell me why, I thought 'fuck it, I'll go for a swim'. Genius plan to stop feeling like shit. So I walked to the stupid lake, and I jumped into the stupid water, and I started to swim. But it didn't fucking help." Damien shook his head. "I went from being sad and angry to being sad and angry and cold and wet. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and how much I wanted to see you, and apologise, and tell you about this so you could laugh and get all annoyed. Had a bit of a chat to God about it, asked him what the fuck he was doing, and then there you were. Mi tesoro."

He didn't know what to say. It was sweet, and so honest it made his heart do that thing, that thing where he could feel it beating like a metronome in his chest. But Lucas knew enough Spanish to translate that last part. My treasure. His treasure, his treasure, his treasure. "I know what that means, now."