Amentalio

Simula

Simula

Sometimes I couldn't help but ask myself.

Was it really out of anger?

Was it just an act of desperation to be happy again? To feel safe again, as if everything was a dream and nothing would ever hurt me again?

Did I really... killed her out of envy?

Tulala akong nakaupo sa hospital shed. My eyes are still fixated on my trembling hands coated with Tatiana's blood.

Hinding hindi ba talaga nila ako matatanggap? Anong... anong meron sa kanya na wala ako?

"I'm sorry but the patient is dead on arrival. Masyadong matindi ang pagkakabangga sa kanya dahil ulo rin ang pinakanatamaan. Her baby didn't also make it. "

Those words kept repeating in my mind, making my eyes shut.

With my hands kept on shaking, I immediately hugged myself because of an unfamiliar feeling that invaded my whole system.

"No..." I uttered in a low and trembling voice. at hindi sa inggit! HHindi ko siya pinatay! Hindi ako gano'n kababaw! I may envy her for everything she had, but never in my entire life, I did something illicit like that!

'But you pushed her, Elianna!' My mind told me that made my knees trembled.

When I was a kid, I thought that maybe everyone hated me for who I was. Because I am a brat, I can always get what I want, and even some people around my age couldn't help but be mad at me out of envy for having such a life that everyone has been dreaming of.

I have a loving father who's willing to support me and a mother who always cares and believes in me, as they say. That I'm lucky because I also have cousins who will defend me even though I did something terrible that everyone thought it.

Pero ngayon na mag-isa nalang ako, I couldn't help but to pity myself. I couldn't help but to ask if...

Was it my fault this time? Pero kung hindi ako nanlaban, paano ako? How about my unborn child?

Am I really going to jail?

Biting my lower lip, a single tear rolled down my cheeks when I attempted to keep my eyes shut because of frustration.

Days before the incident happened, many catastrophic scenarios had wrecked me, mainly when the man of my life chose to dump me.

Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap ko sa sarili. I presumed myself being emotional, knowing it would bring no good to my baby, but I couldn't help but feel a pang on my chest.

As the fear started to invade my system, I wouldn't deny that I am afraid of what will happen after this.

Ano nalang ang sasabihin ni Krev kapag nalaman niya?

He's already mad at me. He had already pushed me away. What will happen after this if he already finds out that I killed the person he treasures the most?

"Walang-hiya ka! Anong ginawa mo sa anak ko?! You still have the guts to show your face after what you did!" Napasinghap ako nang maramdaman kong may mahigpit na humawak sa braso ko

I was caught off guard when someone violently dragged my arms. Tita Amara's presence, with her exasperated visage, made me stilled.

"T-Tita..." I gasped, taken aback when Kreventius' mother welcomed me with a slap on my face.

Napahikbi ko. "I-I'm sorry. Nilayuan ko na po si Krentius. Wala po akong ginawa sa anak niyo--"

"Stupid girl! Wala kang ginawa kay Tatiana? Where's my daughter, huh? Kung wala kang ginagawa, wala sana siya sa ospital ngayon! Anong ginawa mo?!"