Chapter 12

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Chapter 12: XII

Summary:

Things get (almost) pretty steamy.

Also, I'd just like to say thank you to every single one of you who have been reading this story. Your comments are always so welcomed and appreciated. I'm just so happy that people actually care about all this stuff I pull out of my brain. I'm definitely in this one for the long-haul. There's still so much more planned, so stay with me! I had my best friend with me this weekend (haven't seen her since January--TEARS) and we hashed out a whole lot of plot for this baby.

Also, Louis' observer article? I'm still crying D:

Love you all!

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"Everything is so different now and I don't understand any of it,"

Louis was sitting on his bean bag chair in Terri's office. It was Friday and he'd gotten through, essentially, the entire week without a hiccup. After his talk with Terri, he almost felt a sort of perspective, which was odd for him. As usual, he hadn't really said much, but she'd understood enough to get him through it, and that was what counted.

Since he and Harry had said their apologies on Monday, they'd seen each other every day that week. Louis was making a conscious effort not to push him away. Of course, with all the time they'd been spending together, they were getting closer and that was down right terrifying for Louis, but maybe Terri was right. Maybe Harry wasn't going to let him down. It certainly felt that way when they were together. The problem, though, was when they were apart. When Louis had the chance to continuously do that thing he did where he thought himself deeper and deeper into dark places. But that was his problem, not Harry. That was alarming in and of itself.

And then, on top of all of that, there was still the option that Terri was wrong. There was still the glaring possibility that there wasn't ever going to be someone who stuck around through everything. Harry was brave and he was kind, but he was a human being with his own limitations. No matter how lovely things were right then, there was still the fear in the back of Louis' mind that at some point it would be too much. There might be a time when Louis told him something that did make him run and he didn't want that to happen. He wanted Terri to be right about the whole thing.

Louis tried really hard for his own sanity not to consider those options. He was trying really hard to just savour the moment, because it didn't really matter if things crashed and burned just yet, because Louis was enjoying it. And even if that were to be taken from him, he would have still had it, and that had to count for something.

"Because you're different," said Terri.

"I don't feel different, I just feel...lost. I don't understand,"

"There's something to be said for almost dying," said Terri, "it changes a person. You're never going to be the same boy who swallowed those pills. People in your life reacted, Lottie especially. You reacted. You fought for yourself, and its not been all sunshine and lollipops for you, Louis, but you have earned it. You have changed and its all been for the better,"

"I feel like everything but me has changed. People treat me different,"

"The first day I met you, I could see how lost you were, how deep your wounds were, but its not the same now. Now they aren't wounds—they're scars, and there's a big difference right there. You can still see them, those things that happened to you. You can touch them and remember the pain, but they're not bleeding anymore. People can see you now, Louis, as a lot more than just your pain. And what's inside of you—what's always been there—it can shine now,"

Save Myself  // Larry Stylinson Where stories live. Discover now