Safe and Sound [] sapkarl / karlnap [] Criminal AU []

22 | I Love You | 22

TW ~ suicide implication

It's been 4 years since Karl died. I've started writing these journal entries as a coping mechanism. It isn't working. I can't get the thought of him dying in my arms out of my mind

It's actually his birthday. He would be 21 today. Isn't that crazy? I wonder where I would've taken him if he were still alive. He said he's always wanted to go to Disney Land. That'd be fun, wouldn't it?

I remember our first date. It was at a cafe, wasn't it? He dragged me out of school and took me all over town. He was.. insane. And I loved it.

The people, the Knovs, would call him insane too. A serial killer, actually. And yeah, I've seen him kill, but no one really knows what he was actually like. He didn't want that life nor did he deserve to die like that. And yet people still say he deserved to die. That he was heartless. People are maniacs.

It pains me to really talk about it, but I guess it can't be helped. I'm a bit lovesick, don't you think? Haha, yeah.

I remember when we first met. We were both a couple of awkward and shy teens at a party with alcohol. Yet somehow, I managed to meet the love of my life at that party.

He took me out shopping and we ran from the cops! Then, we got caught up in a gang fight and I almost died. But Karl saved me! He's always save me. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

He said something before dying. That he made a promise to.. come back to me alive. He sounded so sad for breaking that promise, he didn't even care that he was dying. Haha.

And I especially remember, that night in Techno's bathroom. Before it all went to hell. We kissed. For the first time, of course. It was way too out of this world. I wish I could feel it again. His strawberry lips pressed up against mine.

And.. he asked me to be his boyfriend.. when he was on the verge of death. He's so.. crazy. And I honestly can't get enough of it! He's amazing. And.. I can't.. bare.. the fact.. that he's gone..

I feel insane writing and talking to myself like this. I can't go on like this for very much longer. I can't live without him.

I wonder what would've happened if Karl didn't die. I wonder what would've happened if we moved in together. Haha, I guess I'll never really know.

I love you, Karl. I love you so so much! You know how you said I'm the light of your life? You shine even brighter. You blind me, Karl. And, I'm gonna join you. That way, we can go to Disney Land together.

Just us.

Safe and Sound

•+ Song For This Chapter +•
~ Youth ~ Daughter ~

A/N: to clear any potential confusion with this chapter, Sapnap has been writing journal entries as a coping mechanism of Karl dying.

In this specific entry, he says 'And, I'm gonna join you.' meaning, yes. It is canon that he killed himself over the loss of Karl. It's open ended, so you can decide if he met Karl in the afterlife or not.

This is the last chapter of the book and I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you so much for reading and have an amazing day!

bruh why do people still read this, the story was so cringe 💀. anyways read my sbi oneshots they're sad but betterrr