Marvel One-Shots

Wish You Were Gay {Natasha Romanoff x Reader}

Wish You Were Gay
Original by: Billie Elish
Cover by: YSABEL

"Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood
"I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say (aww)

(Y/n) never thought she'd be one to pine after someone, longing for their touch, their kiss, their attention. She never thought she'd fall this hard for someone that would probably never see it.

I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away (hahahahaha)

And neither did Natasha. She was (Y/n)'s best friend. She listened to and knew everything about her. So she also knew about her gigantic crush on a certain oblivious national icon. Natasha would laugh along, and let her gush, never telling (Y/n) how much it hurt. Because Natasha was in deep love with (Y/n). Deeper then anything she'd ever felt before. Each mission (Y/n) was away felt like forever, each text was joy, each tear was torture. This little triangle was driving her mad.

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way

"(Y/n), are you alri- oh." Natasha looked to where Steve was sitting, (Y/n) looking at him with dream like eyes. Natasha wished (Y/n) was looking at her like that. Steve could never love (Y/n) like Natasha did.

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

(Y/n) sighed as she slunk into her seat. "You know, Nat? Sometimes I'd rather he'd be gay then with another girl. That's how ridiculous I am." Natasha wished she could tell her that didn't make anything better. Why couldn't she see Steve was uninterested? Why couldn't she see Nat was? "You're not ridiculous, you're just in love." If (Y/n) heard the despondent tone in Natashas voice, she didn't show it.

Is there a reason we're not through?
Is there a 12-step just for you?

"I just don't understand where I am with him. Sometimes we're talking, and it's all great, but then it's like he's avoiding me. He never responds if I text him, even if it's about a mission or training. I don't know, maybe he just doesn't know how to use his phone, but this all feels like some sort of weird dance."

Our conversation's all in blue
11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey)

"Hold on, (Y/n). Steve knows how to use the phone now. Look." Natasha kept her voice from becoming irritated as she showed the text conversation between her and Steve. "Then why does he keep asking me for help?" He voice held genuine curiosity. And suddenly gears seemed to change in Natashas mind. Either Steve was trying to find a way around talking, which seemed unlikely due to his gentlemen like attitude, or he was using it as an excuse to talk to her. She was beginning to fear Steve liked (Y/n) back. (Y/n) must have figured it out too because then she said, "Do you think he's trying to get close to me?"

Ten fingers tearin' out my hair
Nine times, you never made it there
I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away

Natasha sighed in defeat. (Y/n) was supposed to meet her at the diner to catch up over lunch, but she'd just canceled. Again. Once her and Steve started going out, Natasha barely saw her, and it was killing her. Natasha refused to cry as she sat alone in that booth, running her fingers through her hair as if it would change the course of events.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay
When all you do is walk the other way?

It was a rare moment that Natasha finally caught up with (Y/n). Sort of. Natasha was woken by the sound of (Y/n) screaming from a nightmare. Their rooms were the closest, and this wasn't a new occurrence, so Natasha was prepared. Hugs, water bottle, comforting words, anything (Y/n) asked for. "Do you want to talk about it, (Y/n)?" The girl just shook her head, and got up from the bed. "Im sorry, Natasha. I-I just really need to see Steve." She hurried out of the room, leaving a confused and saddened Natasha behind.

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

Natashas heart felt heavy. We couldn't the feelings go away? Why couldn't she just not care about who (Y/n) was with? Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did Steve have to be in the picture? Why couldn't (Y/n) love her back?

To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest, an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation

Why, why, why? Natasha didn't know if she wanted (Y/n) to just say she didn't like girls, or if she wanted hold onto the sliver of hope forever. All she knew is she didn't want to be told (Y/n) just didn't like her. She couldn't seem to find a way around her feelings.

I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless, yeah

She felt like she was drowning the longer (Y/n) ignored her for Steve. She felt powerless, and that scared her. She felt weak and vulnerable over this one person. That was the worst part.

And I can't stand another day
Stand another day

She couldn't keep watching the smile (Y/n) had because of him. She wanted to see that smile come from her.

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way, hmm
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

Natasha contemplated disappearing, running away, cutting (Y/n) from her life. But at the end of the day she knew she couldn't survive (Y/n) being gone. And so she kept quiet. She let (Y/n) be happy, and pretended she was happy.

I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay

But dammit, Natasha just wished (Y/n) was gay.