XV, i want the one i can't have

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FIFTEEN, i want the one i can't have

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FIFTEEN, i want the one i can't have

italics — rues narration

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"athena?" rues voice was muffled by her door, that athena started closing during the day and at night. she barely came out of her room anymore and was rarely ever awake, sleeping her days away out of pure sadness. "athena, can i come in?" she asked. with no response, rue cracked the door open and peeked inside.

to her surprise, athena was awake. she was huddled up in a ball, wearing fez's sweatshirt. her tv wasn't on but she was staring at it, her room barely dim with the sun setting outside. rue frowned, "hey," she spoke softly, it was the first time being in her room for days.

athena lifted her head in acknowledgment, but put it back down soon after. rue closed the door behind her and sat on athenas bed, looking over at her. "i'm sure he's okay, athena." she assured her. "i don't care." she said. "you do." rue muttered. "i do. but i fucking hate him. i hate him for what he did to me." the pain in her voice even hurt rue.

"but i'm sure he didn't mean—" athena cut her off. "why does everyone do this to me? i thought he was different, i've known him for so long. he used me and then left me. why does everyone do that? is that all i'm good for rue?" she asked, her bloodshot eyes looking at her. "no, but i'm sure he's coming back soon."

"he should just stay where he is, honestly." she said. "you don't mean that." she nodded, "i do. stop telling me that i don't mean what i'm saying, cause i do." she snapped. rue nodded, shutting her mouth on the subject. "sorry, i'm sorry." she apologized.

athena genuinely hated fez, which was what he wanted in the first place. she didn't want to look for him, she didn't even want to hear about him. but i don't think it even mattered if she did want to look for him or not, because nobody could even find him. even ash didn't know where he was, he just knew that he was safe. i tried to text him and stuff but, he never responded.

and athena wasn't doing good, if that wasn't clear already. she wasn't eating or coming out of her room a lot, i spent some time with her but she would get irritated and yell at me to leave.

she wanted to be alone, so i tried my best to stay away even though i wanted to make sure she was okay. that was the least i could do for her, since i'm the reason he got raided in the first place.

every time i looked at athena, i felt guilty. i thought that maybe if i hadn't asked fez to scare nate, this wouldn't have happened. but we can't go back in time and change things, and the past can only haunt you.

"he loves you, athena." rue said. "no, he doesn't. if he loved me he wouldn't have ghosted me." athena frowned just thinking about it. "he's okay, i know he's okay." her voice was comforting to athena, she didn't realize how much she missed rue. "is a text that hard?" she asked.

"he doesn't care, he used me. no need to sugar coat this shit or beat around the bush, he's the same as everyone else." she said. "he's not, athena." she nodded, "yeah, he is. and he can rot in hell." her tone changed, anger obviously building within the girl.

she had also been having mood swings like a motherfucker. one minute she can go from a crying mess to the angriest person i have ever met, but i guess that's what heartbreak does to you.

"you don't—" rue cut herself off before she said what athena didn't want to hear again. "look, i'm sorry this happened. i really am." she said. "but, what are you gonna get out of being like this? laying in bed all day and crying. you still need to take care of yourself, athena." the two sat in silence for a while, rue not wanting to say anything before athena, and athena not wanting to say anything at all. she just wanted to be alone.

"can you just leave, rue?" she asked. "you need to eat." she said. "you haven't eaten all day," her voice went even softer, knowing she was stepping on eggshells by not leaving when she asked. "please go." athena didn't snap, which made rue breathe again. instead, she turned on her side and faced the wall, completely icing her sister.

"okay. just eat, okay? and maybe you can shower later, it'll make you feel better." she suggested, getting no reply from her sister. she sighed, putting her hand gently on her leg for a moment, "i love you. i'll come back later." rue moved her hand and got up from her bed, taking one last look at her as she stood by her door. "love you too." she muttered, pulling at her sweatshirt sleeves. rue nodded her head, walking out of her room and closing the door behind her.

it didn't take a fucking genius to know how athena was feeling and why she was feeling that way. she believed that she didn't need to use a safety net when she fell for fez, and he proved her wrong

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last chapter!!!

oh my god, i worked so hard on this book and
i'm so proud of it. this is my favorite book i have written by far, and i hope you all liked it too. i'll probably do a future
chapter update sometime next week, but i can't really continue until season 2 comes out which is why i'm ending the book here. when it does come out, i'll definitely be making a second part to this book so you can all still see fez and athenas journey,
which is far from done yet. again, thank you for all the love
and support on this book.

enjoy! <3

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