𝓟𝐫𝗼𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝓢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐞

Chapter #11 - Ro

Chapter #11 - Ro

Living with Captain Perfectpants had to be the most painful thing that Ro had ever experienced. And being the daughter of the violent ogre king, that was saying something.

It had been the fourth morning in a row where Ro had slipped some microbes into Fitz's breakfast, and— like all the times before— he had responded in a very frustrated manner.

"SERIOUSLY, RO?! It's the fourth time!"

"Wasn't me."

"Of course it was. Why can't you just do it to Biana this time?"

Biana peeked her head in from the other room, "Hey!"

"You'd be asking for the same thing if she was targeting you," said Fitz.

The ogre rolled her sharp silver eyes and tugged her blood red pigtails, "No, she wouldn't, because I wouldn't be targeting her. You're way more fun to torture."

"Nah. I bet you're just intimidated by me."

Nobody said anything after that.

Because everything Fitz had just said— the joke, the tone, the timing— it was such a Keefe thing to quip.

"Welllll," announced Ro, patting the pouch in her armor where she usually kept her weapons, "I should refill this. Byeee." She began to dash out of the door, eager to ditch Perfectpants.

"Wait," said Biana, "I came here to tell you two. Dad's out doing Emissary stuff, and Mom and I are going to go shopping. And Woltzer's been taking a few days off, so Grizel might have to come. Fitz— could you stay with Ro?"

Fitz's seemed gleeful.

And Ro couldn't help but feel mutually.

Biana laughed, "Gee, you guys look like you'd rather spent the day with an amoeba."

"I have compared boys to amoebas before," said Ro matter-of-factly, "So probably not too far off of a metaphor."

"BIANA! COME ON!" yelled Della from the other room, "Ready to go to Mysterium?"

"Yeah," she said, dashing out the door.

Grizel followed, waving a quick goodbye to Captain Cognate.

Unlike what many thought— including some goblin bodyguards she knew— Ro did notice things. Just like how she noticed this was the first time Biana had gone out for fun since the Great Hunkyhair Runaway.

Once Biana and Della were gone, leaving only her and Fitz, Ro scanned the room. "Ooh, look, a sparkly chandelier. Your sister told me you got stuck in one of those once. Bet I'll have fun wrecking it!" She rubbed her calloused hands together.

"Don't—" Fitz said in his crisp, boring accent, "My dad would be upset."

"Well that's different. Guess I'm not used to being around boys who try to please their dad." Smirking, she shook around the chandelier, each reverberation causing more anxiety to surface in Pretty Boy's obnoxiously perfect face.

It was going to be a fun afternoon.

***

"Whatcha doing?" Ro asked, busting into Fitz's bedroom, causing— to her delight— him to momentarily jump up from his desk chair in abject fear.

"I'm studying. The hiatus on Foxfire is ending soon."

Ro raised an eyebrow, "Really? Or are you just distracting yourself from the problems going on in your life?"

Fitz huffed, "Of course I'm not." But his face said it all— and Ro was quite good at telling when a teenage boy was lying at this point.

"No wonder you and Hunkyhair are friends," she said, twiddling around with a vial containing one of her more deadly microbial substances. She was already bored talking to Fitz, so she began to leave the room.

"Wait," he said, turning around. He took a breath and asked, "Why do you hate me?"

"You're boring."

"I'm serious."

"Because sometimes, I'm the only one in the room who sees reason."

"This is about Sophie, isn't it?"

"No offense— actually, I do want to offend you—, but you've been kind of a jerk to her. About the matchmaking. I don't know the whole story since I've been stuck with Funkyhair, but it's pretty clear what happened."

Fitz got up from his seat. He was clearly furious at this point. "Do you know how hard it is? The fact that I'm a Vacker that fits perfectly into society— one that's supposedly 'Wonderboy', at that— yet the girl I like is unmatchable? And that Sophie doesn't even wanna try— try— anymore to figure out who her biological parents are?! Because of... whatever she found out."

And did he know how hard it was to be one of the best warriors of your kind, yet have to leave the place you lived all your life just so you could protect a scrawny 17-year-old? Ro thought. And then when he foolishly runs off, have to stay here in Sparkletown?

But she didn't dare admit that aloud. Or admit it to herself, for that matter. She would rather stay a sarcastic, feisty ogre— even if she was seriously homesick.

Sometimes, she wondered if she would ever go ba—

Ro decided not to finish that thought.

Instead, she said, "Keefe didn't care about her matchmaking status. What do you have to say about that?"

Fitz opened his mouth like he was going to argue, but instead, different words came out. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?" 

"I..." Ro replied, "I don't know." And as they sat there in silence for a moment, it almost felt like her and the Fitzypants were actually getting along.