21. Exposed

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When Razia burst through the wooden doors panting for breath, fear was etched on her face on every crevice of her worry lines which spread across her forehead. Reaching out for a glass of water, unable speak, Emaan poured the steel cup with ice cool water and her eyes pinned on her face. What happened at the panchayat? What did Razia witness? Afraid to ask her about the decision, Emaan peeled the dry skin off her lower lip whilst Razia took short sharp sips.
"You...you..should....-" Razia gasped unable to string a sentence together. "..should have been ...there."
"Are you okay?" Emaan asked as Razia leaned against the bed.
Once Razia necked down the tall, tumbler of water, Emaan watched her moist lips waiting for her to speak? Would she marry Shah-Nawaz? Or Peer Haider? What did the panchayat decide?
"A pig..an ugly pig.." Razia uttered.
"A what?"
"They voted."
"What was the decision?" Emaan touched her arm.
"It was bleeding."
"Talk sense." Said Emaan. "Take a breather. "
Once she regulated her breathing, Razia took out the mobile.
"Picture." Razia held the small mobile in her hand displaying the blank lock screen. 
"I will look at it later." 
Razia showed Emaan how to unlock the phone. Emaan slipped the phone under her pillow and returned to Razia. Razia explained the scene with her animated hands, throwing her arms wide in the air the moment announcing Shah-Nawaz's arrival with his nephew.
"They are tall and built like mountains, Choudhrani Sahiba." Razia over exaggerated building the tension. "They were like giants in midst of us little people."
Emaan shook her head. She knew Razia tended to spice up the details.
"What did they vote? Who will I marry?" Emaan shot up to her feet and pressed her lips together moistening her lower lip.
"Thank Allah it's not Peer Saab!" She clapped like a seal.
Emaan's heart fell to her feet.
"They all decided in a landslide vote."
Emaan turned away as Razia's voice faded.
"They are like soldiers, tall and angry. They ride their horses like the wind. It's terrifying." Razia continued.
"It got worse, Choudhrani Saahiba." Razia approached her towards the balcony with a glass of water.
"Much worse, your grandfather was so angry. They bought a pig. A wild black, ugly, pig ravaged by Choudhary Shah-Nawaz's dogs. He gave that to your grandfather as shagun." Razia explained the tradition.
"Allah!" Emaan smacked her forehead.
"It was bleeding everywhere. Your grandfather could have killed him. But they, Choudhary Shah-Nawaz and his strong nephew were laughing."
"And they want me to marry him? That crazy man! Astagfiruallh!" She shook her head in defiance and folded her arms. "I refuse."
"The panchayat have decided. You will marry him."
Razia rushed to the bed to retrieve the mobile phone. "Let me show you a picture."
"No!" Emaan snapped raising her hand "I don't want to see it. Leave me alone for a bit."
Razia read the sullen look on Emaan's face and left her to her thoughts.

It was a struggle for Emaan to concentrate on her prayer that afternoon. Worry amplified when her grandfather thundered into the haveli declaring the swine an act of war. The phone unsettled her. Why did she ask for pictures? Looking at her pillow, she was fearful of her reaction looking at Shah-Nawaz. The man Jahanpur decided to be her husband.

Once she completed her prayer, she nervously edged towards her bed and held the phone. With her headscarf wrapped tight around her head, she took a deep breath and unlocked the phone and clicked on the photos. A distant picture of Shah-Nawaz mounted on his horse filled the screen. His eyes obscured with glasses and turban donning his head. She couldn't make him out. His shoulders broad, donning a black turban with a glimmering jewel. She turned the phone away feeling her cheeks burn red. Her heart throbbed. Once again she flicked the pictures and stopped at one where he stood in the centre of the panchayat, dressed in a white kurtha moulded his body, his chest with a damp path of sweat on his chest. With his glasses removed, she zoomed into his face and bought the phone to her face. At that moment, Razia barged into the room.
"Shall I bring you anything?" Razia interrupted Emaan who hid the phone under her pillow. Razia was surprised to see Emaan hide the phone and turn away like she was hiding a sin.
"No I don't need anything." Emaan turned away from Razia. "Don't you know how to knock?" She snapped at her maid.
Razia crept in with a smirk plastered on her face noticing Emaan's cheeks burning rose pink. She must have liked his pictures, or else she wouldn't hide the phone and walk away in pretence.
"Handsome isn't it he?" Razia giggled.
"Get lost!" Emaan raised her hand and stormed towards the balcony. Her body fervent she couldn't understand her emotions. It was the first time her body betrayed her. Her faith directed her on how to act and feel and she followed the stringent instructions instilled by her elders. What was this pounding of the heart? She pressed her hand on her chest. Was she cheating her faith? It was just a picture. Then why did she feel like she'd committed a sin?
"Oh Allah! Forgive me." She whispered into the soft, summer breeze.  

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