The end of the world as we know it

Part 3

“Naia? What’s up?”

As soon as I heard Josh’s voice, I knew I wasn’t going to do it. “I, uh…” I had to think fast. “I just wanted to know where you parked the car.”

Josh laughed. “It’s right in front of your building. Haven’t you been outside today?”

“I’m holed up studying,” I admitted. I fidgeted uncomfortably, glad he couldn’t see me. “So, uh, how was shopping?”

“Trader Joe’s was pretty much as exciting as ever.” Josh sounded suspicious. “What’s going on, Naia? Is everything okay?”

“No,” I said, and then realized that was the wrong answer. “I mean, yeah. Sorry. Nothing’s going on. I think I’m just not sleeping enough.”

“You need to take a break, Naia. You’re working too hard.”

“Thanks for the advice, but that doesn’t get my work done.” I sighed, running my fingers through the short black curls on the top of my head. That was kind of a mean thing to say. “Sorry, Josh. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” I should have dumped you.

“No, you’re right. Let me do something to help you. Can I take you for a massage on Friday before dinner?”

I stopped mid-rake with my fingers tangled in my hair. This was not the Josh I knew and… well, liked. He’d never offered to spend more than $20 on me in the 6 months we’d been dating. “Sorry?”

“You know, a massage. To help with the stress.” He sounded like he felt about as awkward as I did at that moment.

And he didn’t even know I was planning on ditching dinner. “Look, Josh, that’s sweet, but I’m fine. I just need to get back to work.”

“Okay. Well I’ll just see you at dinner, then.”

“Yeah, um, I’ll see you later.” Like, not at dinner. And maybe not ever. I really didn’t think Josh was reading anything into it, but I wasn’t about to agree that I was coming to dinner no matter what. I hated lying.

“Bye, Naia.”

When I heard him hang up, I dropped my phone on the counter and hung my head. Julie was going to be so pissed at me.

***

“What do you mean you couldn’t do it?”

I flopped down on Julie’s futon. “I couldn’t make myself say the words. I called him, and I just… choked.”

“It’s not like you’re getting divorced,” Julie said, sitting down next to me and putting my legs over her lap. “It’s just a breakup. Just tell him it’s over.”

“I know, I just…” I trailed off. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”