Avengers broken

Ch. 35 "Talk to me"

                                               Hayden POV 

"Hayden I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me," Clint said 

He didn't have the typical carefree expression he normally wears, this was stern, serious and concerned,

"Have you been having nightmares frequently?" He asked 

I hesitated, he had that look in his face telling me don't you dare lie to me because I'll know, look, 

I looked down, 

"Yes," I whispered 

"How many times a night?" He asked 

"just once," I said 

That was the truth, because The nightmares wake me up, and I don't go back to sleep, 

"Once?" He said 

I looked up at him, 

"Yeah, just once," i said 

He looked like he was thinking like the wheels are turning, 

"You don't go back to sleep do you?" He asked 

I looked away, 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked as he hooked his fingers under my chin making me look at him, 

I hesitated, 

"You can trust me Hayden," He said 

"It's just something for me to deal with alright," I said crossing my arms 

"When it's affecting your health then no it's not for you to deal with," Clint said sternly 

I sighed out of frustration, 

"Hayden look I know a lot has happened, but you need to trust me," He said 

"I do trust you, it's just.." I hesitated 

"What?" He asked 

"It's a problem I need to deal with alright," I said sinking in the bed, 

"Oh no, don't do that," He said 

I looked at him lazily, 

"Do what?" I asked 

"Put that wall up," He said 

"What wall?" I asked dully 

"That wall we've worked so hard to put down," He said 

"Look I get it, you put that wall up, it was the only way you could survive," He said 

"But just because your story may have not have had such a happy beginning, but that does not make you who you are, it is the rest of it, who you choose to be," He said 

I looked at him, 

"But you need to let me in Hayden, let me help you," He said grasping my hand, 

"Just tell me what is going on so I can help," Clint said 

"No one can help," I said looking down, 

"Try me," Clint said 

"Look, they are just nightmares nothing more," I said 

"If they are keeping you up, they are more than your typical nightmares," He said 

"Hayden please talk to me," He said 

I looked at Clint he was genuinely concerned, 

Can I really trust Clint with this? I thought 

Maybe I should just have a jump of faith here and go with my gut, 

" Okay, I'll tell you but can you just keep it between us," I said 

"Depends on what it is," He said 

I sighed 

"Look it's just that every time I close my eyes, every time I fall asleep, I relive everything, everything they've done to me, every broken bone, every punishment everything, and I would rather be a little tired than to relive that," I said 

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, 

"Hayden, you are more than tired you're exhausted," He said 

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks, I shook my head, 

"I don't care I would rather never sleep again than to relive that," I said 

That quick Clint was on his feet sitting on the edge of the bed bringing me into a hug, 

"I've got you kid," He said petting my hair, 

"We'll figure this out together alright," He said 

"But no more secrets alright," He said I just nodded as I continued to cry,