Introspective Strangers [h.s.]

Author's Note

Author's Note

Hi, hello! What's up?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you – from the very bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading this far. I can't even express how grateful I am. <3

EDIT: Yes, the couple at the very end that the boy was watching is May and Harry. They got engaged. They got their happily ever after. :)

This book literally means so much to me and I can't believe I finished it. My ADHD has quite literally prevented me from finishing anything in my life. I'm probably not going to ever re-read or edit it because I hate absolutely everything that I write and am too fragile to go back over any of the hate comments, but it was fun to go along on this little journey.

I wrote this because I have a lot of thoughts in my head and, much like May, I have a lot of trouble sometimes saying them aloud. It's hard, bro. It literally fucking sucks to try and open up to people when you don't feel a sense of self-worth. Luckily, unlike May, I have a great support system and people who show me it's okay to take my time and open up at my own pace.

Not gonna lie though, I kind of hated that I published this on here and updated every week mainly because I have crazy bad anxiety to the point where I sometimes can't even answer text messages cause the world just feels a little too heavy, ya know? So I used to hate posting and seeing the comments come in because I never knew how to properly respond and never wanted to say the wrong thing - I was so worried y'all would hate me or something!

When hate comments started coming in... phew. I just deleted them and moved on, but dude. Seriously. Be a lil nicer. Write something yourself or move on if you hate the shit I put out that much.

A couple things I just wanna say:

1.

I loved all of the paragraphs analyzing and delving into the inner workings of Harry and May's minds. They made my entire fucking year.

That being said, the hate that May gets on this book is hilarious and as much as I want to hate it, I can't. Most of the comments are right. She's cruel, a little hateful and spiteful at times towards Harry, not understanding of her friend's feelings of them wanting to help her and let them in, and she's selfish. God, is she ever selfish.

But I don't know. That's what makes her human. She does what she thinks is right, only to realize later on that maybe what she chose wasn't the best choice. She was being selfish in choosing to go to France, but she needed to be selfish to grow. And maybe she'll come to regret it in the years to come, but she wouldn't know whether or not it was the wrong decision if she didn't try.

She went without Harry because she needed to be alone. Really alone for once in her life. All she's done is follow people everywhere, lean on those closest to her and refuse to branch out. Her and Isaac even went to University together. She hasn't done anything on her own. France was a learning experience for her, as much as it broke her heart to leave Harry behind, but she did it to remind herself that she could. That she would be okay on her own, no matter what. That, if Harry chose to up and leave one day (which the bastard would never) or, God forbid, died – forcing her to be on her own again – she would be okay. She had to find that within herself, something that Harry always pushed her to do, before she went around jumping into any lifelong commitments. It was selfish to leave Harry behind, especially already knowing he felt so apprehensive and didn't fully believe that she loved him back, but that's something they'll have to work on when she's back.

A few people said that she didn't really love Harry and basically left him high and dry at the end but let me remind you of something... May's love language is giving her all to people. Once you're in with her, she'll give you every last thing she has. If she didn't love Harry with her whole heart, she wouldn't have left to try and better herself for him.

Hate May all you want; she did what was best for her and found her way back to Harry in the end. They wouldn't have lasted if she didn't leave because as strong as her love was for him, she still didn't fully love herself, and it ultimately would have sabotaged what they had.

In summary: I will go down defending her. She is a good person, all things considered, and she's just been through a lot of shit that made her angry and upset at the world. Let her find a little beauty in it, without seeing it through someone else's eyes for once.

I was gonna kill Harry off in the end, so just be grateful I didn't do that. :)

Basically – this is me telling you to do whatever the fuck you want to do in life. Nothing lasts. Ever. Things change every day. Don't tie yourself down and put yourself in a box for a small sliver of what you hope can happen when you can go out and fulfil what you know will happen. What will make you a better person.

2.

I just also want to say that this is a work of fiction. Things might not always be great in real life. Shit is going to be hard and things are going to hurt. I tried to write that in as much as possible. That things come up and sometimes not everything goes according to plan, but I also want to say not to let it discourage you.

Love in real life isn't normally this fast and passionate. Sometimes it's super messy and different every day. Just like sex – (Good god, I'm sorry if you've read this far, but I just really wanted to make this disclaimer because it's something I wish I'd have known) – I wrote the sex in this book to be great, but it is not always like this. Especially *ahem* for the girls.

I remember reading Wattpad when I was 13 thinking it was literally going to be incredible and miraculous, only to be sorely disappointed when it rolled around for the first time – turning out to be awkward and a bit painful. But it get's better... trust me.

Be confident in yourself and talk to your partner! Don't be shy but be a little vulnerable. Tell them what works and what doesn't. Don't let these stupid fucking norms of life make you think that sex can't be enjoyable, especially if it isn't great with someone after the first time, because sometimes it's just about finding the right groove with that specific person. It's natural and a part of life that everyone has the right to enjoy (under safe and consenting circumstances, of course!)

--

Anyway, I'm rambling now and this a/n is ending up being longer than the whole epilogue – oops. Don't kill me!

Please, if you got anything out of this – it's not to apologize for who you are or speaking your truth. Be the person you want to be unapologetically. Learn to love yourself and others. Find the special things that make life worth living and surround yourself with them. Find beauty in nature and in the people you pass on the street. Compliment strangers, dance in the rain, kiss the people you cherish, tell the occasional man to fuck off. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel appreciated, you are valid and you are needed here on this planet. I am always here if anyone wants to talk.

But for real – if you read this far, I literally appreciate you more than anything. Even if all you left were hate comments in your wake. I still love you and will give your grumpy little ass a smooch (once covid is over of course! LOL). I wrote this during a really hard part of my life and it helped to put things on paper.

A special thanks to Doni, Alex, Hannah and Tailis !! Y'all were my lifeline and I love you. <3

I have another book I'm currently writing (Dark Harry) called Oblivion if anyone wants to check it out!

And one called Devil's Due (another dark Harry fic which I will probably be dedicating most of my time to at the moment! I would love to see you all there as well.)

Until next time,

Thanks for reading.

Love, love and more love,

Val x