𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃, dream

thirty five

new year's eve. a holiday that meredith always hated before she moved to london, before she blew up on youtube. it was the day that her father left them, the day that she, her mother, and brother had to resort to multiple part time jobs to keep their family afloat in new york.

new year's eve. a holiday that was celebrated everywhere in new york, especially in the city where they lived. the fireworks and cheers heard outside her childhood window only hurt her heart, never filling it with anything other than dread. she never watched the pretty colors blow up around the sky, never texted her friends anything about it. it was the time of the year when she would always lock herself down, not even bothering to get out of bed until the next day.

ever since she and her family made the big jump to england, she had been feeling a little better about the holiday. there weren't as many fireworks as times square, not as many people who were scarily enthusiastic about the new year coming up. she found new friends, and a whole new lifestyle exploded in her face as she began making content.

and ever since her decision to start uploading videos and stream, she met all these amazing people. for the past two years, she felt a little better when new year's eve rolled by. she still always fell into her old habits, but the new people in her life were carefully helping out of her annual slump.

so today, new year's eve, she was sleeping peacefully in clay's arms, up until the point when tubbo bursted in their doorway for what seemed to be the millionth time during their entire meet up.

"hey, hey! get up! it's new year's eve!" he yelled, dancing around excitedly in front of their door.

"tubbo, please. it's too early for this." clay groaned, shielding his eyes from the sunlight that was coming in through the curtains.

"the fuck you mean it's too early? it's twelve pm! noon! lunchtime!"

"what? already?" he was more alert at the sudden news, carefully unwrapping his arms from meredith and moving up on the bed.

"yeah, so get up! we have food downstairs already, tommy's waking up george and nick right now. niki, wilbur, and us have eaten already." tubbo left the room, stomping down the stairs to meet the others.

"meredith." clay said softly, shaking her arm gently.

"no." she said. from his point of view, it looked like she was just reluctant to get out of bed, which was a very odd thing for her. especially since she was usually an early bird. from her perspective however, she just wanted to stay in bed for the rest of the day as soon as she heard the phrase 'new year's eve.'

"come on, you've got to be starving by now." he insisted, beginning to pull her out of bed.

she groaned, getting out of his grasp and scooted farther away. "i just want to sleep for an extra few minutes, is that so hard to ask for?"

"meredith." he said more sternly. "you never want more sleep, you're all about 'fuck sleep.' what's going on?"

he knew her better than she thought he did. "ugh," she spun around on the bed, facing him. "remember my shitface of a dad?" he nodded. "new year's is the time that he left my family to fend for ourselves. so i always feel really shitty around now."

"oh. then, let's get out of bed first, okay? come on, i'll help you take your mind off of it. we're going to enjoy new year's whether you want to or not."

she grumbled, slowly dragging herself out of bed and following him to get ready in the bathroom. her posture was worse than usual, her motions as she brushed her teeth half the speed that it usually was. her eyes were droopy with preemptive exhaustion, and she looked damn ready to go back to bed.

"hey, you want to pick out my outfit for today?" clay asked after drying his face. he knew that she loved doing that, so she looked up at him with a small smile and nodded. "okay, good."

"i like you a lot." meredith mumbled as she moved to his suitcase, flipping through his various clothes.

"what was that?" he asked in a sudden cocky tone, standing next to her.

she made a face, turning to look at him. "do i have to repeat myself?"

"yes! i need that for my text tone for you, or something." he smiled.

"i hate you. fuck you." she turned back to keep digging through his clothes.

"a bit contradictory, considering your last sentence. don't you think?" he tilted his head down at her.

"why aren't you saying it back to me?" she asked instead, settling on a shirt and pants for him.

"because you already know how much i like you. want me to show it more?" he started making kissy noises, erupting laughter from her.

"no, no, i'm good!" she giggled, shoving his clothes on his chest and moving to get her own. he stood with a satisfied smile, happy that he was able to distract her.

after they got dressed, it seemed like the normal meredith had come back to life. she was flittering around the dining room, talking excitedly to everyone about her plans about her face reveal and everything else she had prepared for her audience. clay sat with george and nick, watching her as the two guys had their conversation in front of his face.

meredith spent the most time though, just standing on the balcony upstairs and staring at the half melted snow. back in new york, there was always firework residue lumped in with the snow back then, haunting her every move when she stepped outside. she watched as the rain came and washed the snow away, exposing the moody green grass in the backyard.

clay appeared out of nowhere next to her, nudging her forearm to get her attention. she was brought back to reality, turning to see who it was.

"hey," he said. "what are you doing up here?"

"watching the rain." she shrugged. "does florida ever get winter rain?"

"not really, no. usually during the summer and fall kinda is when it rains. you have something on your face." he pointed out.

"where?" her eyebrows scrunched up, her hand beginning to wipe at her face.

"right here." he pointed to the corner of his lip.

"here?" she moved to the other side of where he was pointing, completely missing it.

he shook his head, moving his own hand to her chin. "right," he brushed his thumb softly against the bottom of her lip. "here."

he held her chin in his palm for a few seconds, looking at her lips before softly kissing her. she leaned in, smiling against his lips and kissing him back innocently.

"that was a cute move you just pulled. did i actually have something on my face?"

he giggled, "no."