mahogany ; d.m

39 - lies

The burn from Draco's touch on her neck lingered to her skin stubbornly. Athena had never felt so ashamed of herself yet at the same time, so utterly hypnotized by another.

As she fled to Gryffindor Tower, her thoughts raced with every emotion possible to the point she felt she could vomit. The anger, the shame, the guilt, the arousal and the temptation, all of which she almost succumbed to. It was beyond overwhelming.

She could not even begin to comprehend what had happened, but more specifically what she had almost allowed to happen. Truth be told, as crude as it may seem, she genuinely wanted him to kiss her. If Draco hadn't withdrawn, she would have kissed him and who knows where it could have gone from there.

It was wrong, so entirely wrong that it only made her all the more desirous of him.

But there was Cedric. He who, despite her close encounter with infidelity, she truly loved. It goes without saying, nothing had actually gone as far to happen. But that didn't mean it wouldn't have if Draco hadn't stopped it.

Looking back to that moment, she critiqued herself heavily with a mixture of embarrassment and cringe. However, in the moment, there was nothing she had wanted more than his lips on hers. But now the very thought gave her a strange, unsettling feeling with an undertone of intrigue which she pushed away.

What was worse was that she had almost proved everything Theo had been shaming her for earlier on. Everything Theo had said definitely crossed her mind prior to their conversation, so ultimately he hadn't said anything that she hadn't already thought about herself.

The passions she possessed for Draco seemed beyond reason. She could not make sense of any of it. Was she only controlled by damned lust or was there something else? Something more than she wanted to allow.

And because of the constant stream of longing thoughts that drowned her internally, she hated him so much for making her feel as she did. The frustration seared through her chest like a hot branding iron.

Athena bypassed the entrance that a crowd of students were using to return from the Quidditch match. The Gryffindors seemed disheartened whereas the Hufflepuffs were anything but. It had clearly been a victory for Hufflepuff.

She integrated into the midst of the crowd, following a few of her fellow Gryffindors to their common room. However, as she had caught up beside Parvati and Lavender who were discussing the events of the match, her name was called from behind and she immediately knew the voice.

Her heart sunk and an acidic bile emerged in her throat. She turned her head to see Cedric, messy haired and slightly muddy, approaching her. He looked unnerved, which only made her all the more anxious. The guilt was drowning her.

"You alright, where were you? I looked for you in the Gryffindor crowd and you weren't there," he asked, taking her hand in his and leading her away from the traffic jam of students.

"Um—I had a detention," she replied. "How was it? Did you win?"

"Oh yeah we did. What'd you get a detention for?" he furrowed his brows.

"Just—being out of bed after curfew," she explained, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

"Right," he said with an air of unsureness, but pressed no further questions about it. "And about yesterday..."

He stopped speaking when a few third year students ushered past them, from whom they received some stares.

Cedric then took a step in front of her so he was nearer and lifted her hand above her chest into a gentle hold of affection. When she looked to her wrist, she noticed something was off.