Mirror of Embers (Book 1)

t h i r t y - t h r e e

✧ Kam ✧

IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS, TWO GODS AWFUL WEEKS. The palace has gone into lockdown. No one leaves or enters. He issued a stay-at-home order throughout the province. Whatever he is doing, is not good, to say the least. The castle is in shambles, the staff are scared to round corners, scared to approach any of us. Landon and I have been holed up in my suite, I have never seen him so antsy before. He has been pacing through our room; the little girl is sitting beside me on my bed—Clementine. Somehow Landon and I were left in charge of her, which must be the funniest thing from this whole . . . debacle. Landon and I, the deadliest people in all Llyria. The High-King and his General. Living nightmares. Tales told to children to scare them inside. Have been entrusted with a child. A child. It is incredibly unnerving; I do not know how to act around her. She is so fragile, so quiet, I do not want to say the wrong thing and upset her. That is the last thing I want to do.

I do not want to hurt her.

They told me Ember was the one to bring her—to find her. I was not the least bit surprised by the knowledge, her heart is too big, too full to ever abandon her. Too many children are abandoned, too many grow up alone and unloved, I am glad Ember took her. Is giving this little girl some sort of stability, even if it is with the most unstable people in the world. But it does not matter what the home is made up of, it is the people inside of it. A home does not need to be pristine or large or fancy, all it needs is love.

Love is what makes a home. Love, friendship, and family.

And Ember is making that a possibility, she is doing that for this little girl. Giving her so many people she does not know who to choose.

My heart swells, thinking of her. Of Ember.

I have been confined to my suite and the grand floor. But I am not to see Ember. I am not to see the Bastards. I am not to see the only people who really matter right now.

I have heard Shann sneak up here­­­—the spy, he has been up here a few times—but he has not even gotten close to my room without the royal guards threatening to murder him. I had thought Ember had a foul mouth; I was so very wrong. That boy was vicious. Using curses that were so old and ancient that he confused the guards, but had sent Landon to the floor, howling with boisterous laughter. I have informed him, time and time again, that the girl is fine, but he refuses to believe me. She has even popped her head out a couple of times when they were dragging and pushing him away. He still does not believe. I am still not sure if I should be insulted or not, that he believes I would hurt an innocent child. But then again, he does not know me. He does not know my motives or what role I play in all of this.

What role I play in this. What a loaded statement. I play no role in any of this. I thought I had. I had thought King Adrian wanted to merely study Ember, to help bring both kingdoms' together. No, that was never his plan. I was a fool to not see it until it was too late. Until he was killing her best friend—

Uncontrollable guilt seizes me, every time I think—think back on what he did. What he did to her. What he took. The life gone. Her devastated tear-stained face continues to haunt my dreams. Her and her sister's broken sobs. I should never have sought her out. All of this is my fault. If I had put aside my love, if I had put all aside and allowed her to be happy—happy in a world without me, then he would be alive. Ember would not be within the King's clutches. Her friend would be alive.

Everything is my fault.

My magic claws at my skin. Taunting me, agreeing that everything awful is my fault. It rips its talons across my blood.

I steady my breathing, breathing in and out deeply. Slowing my racing heart.

I have been doing this every day since the twins were taken with the King. I have to bite back my magic, because if I give in, I'll explode and kill the King to get to Ember.