ᴜɴᴅᴏɴᴇ | ᴅ.ᴍ

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

PEOPLE say that a soulmate is someone who can make the best version of you, that they bring out the best in you. I don't fully agree with that statement because why does the world always revolve so much around two lovers? Why can't it just be about yourself as well? Why can you bring the best out in yourself?

You don't need anyone to be truly you. Everything doesn't revolve around lovers. If you can't love yourself, how are you supposed to love others? I think that's what most people do, they become fully dependent on others for their happiness and when they leave it hurts terribly because they were so dependent on others to feel better.

I don't like depending on people because they leave all the time. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself and that has to be enough.

Don't be a better person for someone else only but yourself. Though others can also help you realize your worth and how to be the best version of yourself, sometimes other people can bring out the best in you but that's rare.

Happiness was never a thing that stuck around in my life, the universe quite literally had an agenda against me. Rude. My mother and I never had the perfect relationship, we practically hated each other but still stuck around. There were moments where we would connect and laugh but all I could think about was how the next minute she was going to find a reason to get mad at me and argue with me.

Whenever I'm happy I'm afraid that it'll be taken away. That one day that person who I loved will either leave me or die. I spent so long trying to feel happy that when it arrives I can't enjoy it and struggle to find joy out of fear that it will leave. But happiness comes and goes like clouds and rainbows. Happiness is like a gift, enjoy it while it lasts.

I wasn't always such a sentimental person, there was a time when I was full of light, vibrant, happy, and just full of such positivity and glowed until it took too many lies, a handful of betrayals, and a house full of hurt to turn myself into a wounded soul. But I want to be better. Take an example of a garden, take that hurt and bury it into the soil and now water it, take a moment and allow a whole new garden to grow, heal yourself, and bring yourself back to life.

The truth is that everyone is going to hurt you, people you wouldn't expect to, but sometimes you have to find the ones that are worth suffering for.

I haven't left my dorm for a few days, I was taking my time to fully comprehend the events of the last few days. It was something that took a lot longer than I expected to process. I had come face to face with the person who had assaulted me and had reacted in a way completely unexpected. I was expecting myself to break down or cry, but I didn't.

I felt relieved. I felt relieved that he was gone, I felt like I received some sort of closure that most people don't get, and I felt grateful.

I hadn't remembered who he was or how he looked because my brain had blocked that memory out since it was so painful for me to remember.