"We fought an uphill battle. One we had no hope of winning."
~~~
Felicity-Flick as most call her-Carter, has learned a thing or two in her 12 years of life. How to deal with drunk parents without waking the neighbors, how to smoke a cigarette withou...
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"They're all together." I breathed in as much smoke as my lungs could hold, laying on my back looking at the darkening city sky. "They're all together, and they all left me behind." I cringed at the feeling of a tear rolling down my cheek.
"I'm sorry Flick. That sucks." Jackson's thumb gently moved across my cheek. I could feel the sympathy radiating off him in waves. And for once I didn't despise it. For once I was allowing myself to wallow in self-pity, just for a little while.
"He got married, Jacks. Emmet got fucking married and I didn't even know." My oldest brother. He went to San Francisco to pursue his music career the last I knew. He had been doing gigs and stuff here in LA for a while but got an offer when I was six and left. Never came back. Just like the rest of them, he left me like yesterday's trash and never even gave it another thought. Jackson sighed and moved a little closer so his side was pressed against mine.
"He's an asshole Flick. They all are." I could hear the rising anger in Jackson's voice. He wasn't protective of me per se, but rather he took care of me just as I did him, and naturally he didn't like it when someone hurt me. "It's bullshit, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with it."
I sighed. "S'okay Jacks," I whispered. I had been here for hours now. Alone for most of them. Jackson hadn't shown up until just an hour ago, catching me by surprise. I thought he would be gone until tomorrow, but apparently, he ditched his brother in San Diego this morning and came back to find me here all alone, looking like death warmed over and smoking like a chimney. If his shocked face was anything to go by, I could guess it was a pretty odd sight.
I was usually so well put together and stable. It wasn't often that I fell apart like this. But then again, it had been a long time since my heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest like this. And god, it was more painful than I remembered. I guess this was why I stopped caring about them so long ago. I wasn't heartless, eventually, I just learned it was better not to feel. Better not to care. Because this sucked. This hurt, this angst. It sucked.
"He didn't even invite me to his fucking wedding," I whispered to myself. It hurt. A lot. And I wasn't sure how to make it stop again. I wish I was still numb. "They've moved on." I wasn't talking to Jackson anymore. I was barely aware that I was still speaking at all. "They have lives, with no room for me." My throat tightened as another round of sadness washed over me. "I don't fit. But I never did. I don't fit anywhere."
Jackson moved even a little closer. He rested his forehead against the side of my face in a sort of half-hug, lying down.
"You fit with me." He whispered. "And maybe that's all you need."
I nodded, not looking at him. He was all I had.
Whether that was all I needed or not.
-FLICK-
"What is going on here?" I asked with wide eyes as I stepped through the door to our apartment. All I wanted was to go to bed. It was so late, I was so drained. I just wanted to end this day, but then this happened. It was enough to make me cry again. But I couldn't. Not now. Not with all of them here.
