heavenly ✓

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 40

♡︎𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟♡︎

I keep thinking about how much i love talking to him. How good he looks when he smiles. How much i love his laugh. I daydream about him on and on, replaying our conversations in my head, laughing at silly things he said or did.

I've memorized his face and the way he looks at mine. i keep catching myself smiling at what i imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we're together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, i know one thing for sure; he's one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I haven't saw him since last week, sure he still has someone delivering breakfast even tho i text him everyday to not worrying about me and to stop bothering himself but he always replies with an "ayee ayee captain" but never listens.

He had to go on a business trip last week to Dubai, i think it was urgent but i really do miss him.

I text him a good morning everyday but he would be sleeping so he responds when i am, especially with my hospital shifts and all, we never had s proper conversation.

But as i knew from Amara, that he's coming today so i've been planning something small for both of us. I'm actually pretty nervous.. i know he said that he still loves me, but i can't help but let my insecurities and self doubt get the best of me.

get your shit together and remember who you are.-i kept chanting in my head as i put on an outfit i thought would be good enough for the occasion, then spent time on my hair and makeup and decided that i'm all set to go. don't need to ne nervous.

I started my car and went to the direction of his house, and much to my happiness, the house was lit up so he probably is here.

i rang the bell and waited patiently, and i heard his loud footsteps then he opened the door.

"i swear lukas if you came-" he cut himself off looking at me surprised.

"hey Xander" at the mention of the nickname you could see his face lighting up.

"hello lia.. you look gorgeous as always.. can i- can i hug you?" you could see the tiredness on his face... i shouldn't have come. now i'm annoying him with my presence.

"yeah please" i really needed a hug right now too.

"come inside" i came inside and he closed the door and immediately embraced me, i could feel him closing his eyes and savoring the moment just like me. damn i miss his hugs, and his smell and his em- stop.

"i'm sorry that i came, i know i shouldn't have- i- i wanted to surprise you? euhm i just didn't realize or think that euh, i'm silly, i didn't.. you're tired. i should go" stop fucking stuttering. what the fuck is wrong with you?! worthless.

"don't make me kiss you to shut up. And this is the best surprise ever. you literally just made my entire week- no my entire month." he squeezed me before releasing me from the hug. couldn't we stay a few more minutes?

"well I should probably go now xwe can do whatever i planned next time" i said turning around but his hand stopped me.

"there no way in hell you're leaving me" i don't want to "and i'm not tired i was just a bit upset, but right now i don't even remember what it is about" he looked so deep into my eyes that i felt him touching my soul.

"i promised that i wouldn't fall but everytime i look at you, you make falling feel like flying" i stepped closer to him.

"i have somewhere to take you" i grabbed his hand and took him to my car, making him sit in the passenger seat, then asked him to use a blindfold. i really wanted to see his reaction so it's better like this since i have to focus on driving.

The road felt short with our little flirting here and there, and the carassing of our hands. i really feel like i'm back in college.

We arrived to the familiar hill that i memorized by heart from all the numerous times i came here with him. So i took his hand and lead him inside, our fingers still intertwined.

"euhm- you can remove the blindfold" i said uncertainty.

"baby don't be nervous. i'll always love whatever you think or do" he gently squeezed my hand then brought his to remove the material that's blocking his view.

When he removed the piece of fabric, he stood rooted to his spot, making me start to fidget with my finger waiting for his next words.

"I fucking love it ophelia. I actually adore it. like why the fuck someone like me have You by their side. i don't fucking understand how i deserve you" he turned to look at me, his yes glassy. i freaking love how he shows all of his emotions in front of me, especially since he's emotionless in front of everyone else.

"don't you dare say that" i replied, my eyes watering just by the sight of his own.

"i'm the one who don't deserve but i'm trying to still hold on even if i tried to let go all last year. i'm so fucking sorry for everything. i'm so sorry" by now, waterfalls were running down my face but i continued.

"i can't imagine how i made you feel- i was so selfish. you deserve more Xander but i am still selfish and i can't let you go"

"i don't want you to let me go.. even if you ever did, i'll hold myself for you lia.." he stepped towards me.

"some stories go through long pauses like the spaces between the notes. If it's in the stars our paths will collide again and how sweet the music can be" he cupped my face. (ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵐᵃⁿ ᵖʳᵒʲᵉᶜᵗ)

Then he kissed me hard. i forgot how to function, the same butterflies that danced in my stomach and the tingles that jumped around my bones... Fire lived in his kiss, he had a way of melting every and each part of me.

We kissed in the same place as our first kiss, the same date.

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𝐈 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐢'𝐦 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤..

𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭?