The Vanished | Crazylonleychick

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

Joshua Carter, Noah Mckall, Taylor Nickson, Rebecca Leyhe, Griffin Andrew, and Ross Clay.

Why are these names important? Because these were the only survivors of the vanished.

One missing leads to a whole town gone in a spans of months. So the only.question is

Who's next?

***

YOUR COVER: (4/10) As a reader, I wouldn't have been drawn to your cover. The font used for the title doesn't fit in with books in the mystery genre, and the image used could have been cropped or filtered better to please the eye. The author's name (if there) is hardly visible, and a cover is not a cover without the author's name. I suggest going to a cover designer on Wattpad.

YOUR TITLE: (7/10) There are a lot of variations of the same title you used on Wattpad, but your title does represent your story and is referenced in the blurb. It's bordering on generic, but if you believe that the title is an important reference in itself in your story, then I encourage you to keep it as it is.

YOUR BLURB: (2/5) From looking at your blurb, there are several things that I see wrong. You have grammatical errors, such as an unnecessary period between "only" and "question" and you have an incomplete sentence. You ended the third paragraph with an incomplete sentence and finished the sentence in the next paragraph. This is inaccurate, and I suggest keeping that one sentence together. In a blurb, I also recommend having only at most one question. You have two hypothetical questions in there, so I suggest removing one and rephrasing it as a statement. Since the missing people seemed to be labeled as the "vanished," it's a title, and therefore should be capitalized. You also unnecessarily pluralized a word. Potential readers won't absorb names, especially if you put it right at the front of your blurb. In the most likely scenario, they'll probably gloss over the list of names entirely. I suggest keeping the names to a minimum, and since these names are necessary, leave out the last names. If I were to correct all these mistakes, your blurb would look something like this:

Joshua, Noah, and Taylor.

Rebecca, Griffin, and Ross.

The only survivors of the Vanished.

One missing leads to a whole town gone in the span of a month.

So the only question is: Who's next?

With this, I was actually able to shorten and tighten your blurb, making it easier for potential readers to absorb this information.

YOUR HOOK: (4/5) Your beginning is very whimsical and incorporates a dreamlike quality. You left a good impression on me as a reader, but I spotted a few grammatical errors right off the bat. I'll explain those later in your chapter reviews, but keep in mind that your introduction to your story is one of many important aspects in writing a story, as it showcases your writing abilities.

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