Solitude

A Solitary Holiday

There were no such things as holidays in my world, there was no birthday, or Christmas or Easter or New years. The days were like every other, nothing special or interesting. I hadn't celebrated any of them since I was seven.

The only celebration was Loki's birthday.

My Christmas consisted of pizza, writing and watching movies while Loki cuddled up with me on the sofa. I would add chicken to his food so he could have a Christmas dinner.

Morgan demanded that we exchange presents, to show our appreciation for one another and our friendship. I didn't believe in showing how much I cared for her with materialistic gifts, I thought the practice was strange and unneeded. I showed I cared for her by retreating from my apartment once a month to spend a day with her and she showed me she cared for me by not pushing me to spend more than our allocated time with each other and understanding that.

Our friendship was, probably what many would call weird, but it was needed. I was better alone with Loki, that day last month with Alex proved that.

She knew if she did ever need me then she could call and I would be there, even if it meant seeing her more than once a month and I knew if I needed her, I could go to her.

She was the most important person in my life. Loki wasn't technically a person so he couldn't be first on that list.

It was Christmas Eve and Alex was bringing Zeus round for the last day before Christmas and I was saddened to know that I wouldn't be spending the day with Zeus tomorrow but I understood. He should spend it with Alex.

Alex and I hadn't really talked since my panic attack last month. I knew he found me strange and didn't understand what happened but he never asked about it, which I was grateful for. We were distant but I was okay with that.

It was better that way.

The door knocked and I rushed to open it, letting Zeus pull Alex in before he let him off the lead. Zeus bounced on me, his front paws hitting my shoulders and knocking me backwards. I fell, like usual, my backside hitting the floor painfully and I groaned.

"Zeus!" Alex exclaimed, helping me up while I rubbed where I fell, soothing the pain that exploded there. "I'm sorry about him. He's just excited."

"It's okay." I shrugged, laughing while I watched Loki jump up at Zeus. "Not the first time it has happened."

"Why is it... so plain in here?" He asked looking around.

I stared around my apartment. Natural colours were everywhere, the only colour was Loki's dark red lead that sat on the coffee table. Looking back to him, I tilted my head in confusion. "It's always been plain in here."

"I know but it's Christmas." He explained briefly, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "It's not like I decorate loads, the staff decorate because my dad, my younger sister, her husband and her kids come to stay with me over Christmas. I have to or else my sister will kill me." He rolled his eyes at the last part. "But your place has nothing."

My lips parted in understanding. "I don't do Christmas."

His eyes narrowed. "At all?"

"I buy Loki a small chicken to have with his dinner." I smiled.

"You?" He asked slowly.

"No for Loki."

He exhaled slowly. "I mean what do you have for Christmas dinner?

"I buy a pizza tonight and then I eat half and the other half tomorrow." I nodded before adding, "I watch Christmas movies while eating."

I loved Christmas movies. Elf, The Polar Express, The Nativity, Santa Clause. I had them all on dvd and I binged watched them while writing.