(Currently being re-written & grammar fixed outside of wattpad, I will be republishing very soon.)
Josephine Katavana, the sweet librarian you would meet on a normal day at the library, struggling with her anxiety. She thought she knew it all and h...
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It's eleven in the morning and we almost haven't said a word to each other, nor has he looked at me.
I'm hungry, I want to go somewhere to get food, but I'm only about 1/3 done with this document.
"When do I get to leave?" I finally break the silence.
"When you're done." He answers me.
"It has been four hours, and I'm not even halfway done and I'm starving," I tell him as he looks away from his laptop and up to me.
"maybe you should have eaten before you left." He replies.
Fantastic.
Now I have to spend my day here, with him in silence.
And about two hours later I talk again, "why do I have to sit here with you, can't I finish this at home?" I ask him.
"no," he responds.
"Yeah, why not?" I ask him again as he stays quiet.
"answer me-"
"can you just shut the fuck up and finish the document!" he turns over to me, clenching his jaw.
My anxiety hitches my breathing as I turn over and look back down to the keyboard trying to steady my breathing, but it feels, caught. I can't breathe steadily and now that I know that I can't breathe
steady I can't think.
I can't work, I need to breathe first.
I don't like being yelled at, well everyone gets yelled at, but it hurts me when I feel bad after for something I didn't do.
My breathing affects me as I feel a pool of water forming in my eyes as I can't blink trying to breathe rapidly as I look up to lucifer seeing him looking at me, confused? No, I can't read his face.
"e-excuse me I- I.." I start before running out of his office down the hall, trying to open the elevator.
"Josephine!" lucifer yells as I try to bang the elevator door.
"open please!" I cry.
It always gets the best of me, making me cry, worry, overthink.
"Josephine!" he gets louder as It finally opens, and I get in trying to close it behind me as he walks out of the office. Mad.
I get down finding a bathroom and stand Infront of the mirror trying to help my breathing, I should get used to it.
...
I don't want to go back. He's going to yell again.
Please don't.
I open his office door to see him pacing in the middle of the office, while I quietly walk over back to the couch to grab my computer.
"where the fuck did you go?" he yells walking over to me.
"I had to go to the bathroom." I lie to him.
"yeah right," he scoffs "that bad" he points to the door.
"please j-just drop it" I force a smile as I grab the computer.
"what are you going to have another anxiety attack or some shit."
Anxiety attack or some shit.
I sit there, looking into the heartless man's eyes, as they meet my watery ones.
I get up from the couch and walk around looking straight at him as he raises his brow.
"so-" I stop him when my hand flies up to smack him in the face.
My hand collides with his hard jaw as his face immediately turns from the contact.
I can already see the anger forming in his green eyes as he stands in front of me, slowly turning his face back to meet mine.
"just to slap some shit into you, what just happened wasn't a joke, and you'll never know what that just meant to me." i look into his eyes before turning around, grabbing my computer and slamming his office door shut.
.....
"long day?" Lisa asks as I nod taking another sip of my water.
"well thank you for watching him" she thanks me.
"of course, go have fun," I tell her as she smiles and walks away before I close the door and turn around to see peter jumping on my couch.
His little, dirty blond hair bounces up and down with his jumps as I laugh.
"do you want to watch something?" I ask him.
"Nah" he replies.
"eat something?" I ask again.
"momma fed me," he tells me as he continues to jump.
"well.." I drift off "I ran out of things," I tell him as he giggles.
I shake my head and walk over to my bookshelf to go get a book to read while he sits next to me and plays with something.
A little while later I hear annoying knocking at the door before I tell peter to stay there before I get up and open it.
Only to see the cruel man from today before shutting the door but his foot stops it.
"hey, I just came here to- since when do you have a fucking kid" he groans.
"Watch your mouth! And he's not mine I'm babysitting for a friend." I tell him as he rolls his eyes.
"whatever comes here tomorrow morning at ten," he tells me handing me a little menu.
"First, how did you know where I live. And come here for what?" I ask him.
"work," he tells me.
After today he still wants me to work with him
"work?" I clear up.
"exactly," he says before walking away and I watch him walk down the stairs.
I close the door and throw the paper on the counter before walking up the peter again.
"who was he?" peter asks me.
"nobody," I tell him as he nods and picks up the tv remote as I read.
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little note: anxiety is not the same for everyone. the main character in this book does struggle with it, stronger at sometimes but tries to ignore it in others, i acted on the way that i have have anxiety attacks or struggle with it, so there are so many ways that it can affect you, and I'm truly sorry if you struggle with it.
