phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 25: feelings

Hana's POV

I let Hyunjin hang out with Hyunho alone but only stayed long enough until Hyunnie got comfortable playing with him. He usually has a hard to warm up to new people but with Hyunjin, it was like something clicked between them after that whole thing happened. I was surprised by their chemistry, knowing that Hyunjin has a hard time playing with Lucy sometimes.

When I came back and saw Lucy and Hyunjin at District 9, I could tell something between them was off. It was as if Hyunjin was trying to stay away from her and only interacted with her when he had to. I am happy that he has grown more comfortable now though. Maybe it's because I was out of the picture. I sigh and try not to think negatively about myself but I can't help it.

"Oh no, you're overthinking again?" I hear a deep, airy voice and look up from the ground to see Jaehyun. I smile a little and shrug.

"Not overthinking... just thinking," I vaguely describe.

Being with Jaehyun makes me feel so weird. It's not a bad weird but the kind where I feel comfortable but uncomfortable at the same time. I guess it's 'cause it's been so long and I really thought that he died. I slowly look back at him and stare at his handsome feature as he stands beside me, taking a sip of his water.

"I'm surprised Haechan is surviving out here, he was so spoiled in SM Town," Jaehyun says.

"With his little karaoke machine and weekly random dance plays he'd host," I recall and giggle a little. "He still sings and dances just at appropriate times now." Jaehyun nods and smiles. I purse my lips, feeling some sort of tightness in my chest as if I wanted to say something.

"I missed you," we both say at the same time and I slap my hand against my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Jaehyun laughs harder. I really did miss him. He helped me a lot in SM Town.

"How are you though? How was transitioning to a new camp and new people?" I ask.

"Your friends are really nice. Jinyoung and Jae took care of me and really tried their best to heal me. Without them, I wouldn't have survived," Jaehyun explains. I nod and smile a little. I am glad they were there for him.

"Now we're free," I stretch my arms and stare at the sun rising, peeking through the trees of the crisp autumn weather. "I'm free."

"Yeah, but you don't seem as happy as you should be," Jaehyun points out.

He knows me too well. When I was at SM, Jaehyun was always the person I'd vent to and was the only one I truly opened up to. Not even Joy or Taeyong but Jaehyun and for some reason, I felt like I could always trust him and I was right. He took care of me and protected me as much as he could while I was at SM.

"What?? No, I'm happy," I lie and look down at the ground again.

"C'mon, you used to tell me everything, y'know," Jaehyun teases. I smirk a little and look back up at him.

"Maybe I told you too much back then, now you're too cocky about how much I tell you," I snicker and Jaehyun frowns. I hit his shoulder softly. "I'm just joking," I say. "I don't know it's just- I thought some things would stay constant but I guess I was wrong," I take in a deep breath and fidget with my fingers again.

"Things like?" Jaehyun asks me to elaborate.

I feel bad for wanting to talk about Hyunjin with him. After all, I know Jaehyun's feelings for me before were romantic rather than platonic. Maybe he has changed too. I don't want to hurt him if he still has feelings because I know I don't like him the way he wants me to.

"Things like..." I am about to speak but we are interrupted by someone who wraps their arms around our shoulders.

"Ah, the SQUAD! It feels like old times again," I look up at the tall Johnny who is forcing us into a group hug. I laugh a little as Jaehyun smiles.