Chapter 4-9

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If I was asked how I felt to be a werewolf, with my human soul intertwined with that of a wild, near feral animal, I would describe it as what I imagined multiple personality syndrome disorder patients experienced. We existed like two separate consciences trapped within the same body. While we didn't fight each other for control, we were both capable of controlling that body, including its form. When I allowed Lumi to take complete control, I watched from the corners of my mind.

Correction, our mind.

After the slivers of truth about my brother and mother cut through my heart, I receded until I saw and felt nothing but black emptiness. I didn't know how it happened but I shut off my consciousness. Resigned myself into the dark shadows from where Lumi often hid, where she lived suppressed for at least four years, I saw and experienced nothing outside the nothingness I surrounded myself with.

Like a dreamless sleep, the stillness and quiet of infinite blackness offered a rush of relief. With nothing here, no nightmares or demons to confront, the sensation felt like a dreamless dream.

Unfortunately, like some dreams, the wakeup process was unpleasant. I didn't even forcibly wake myself up. Lumi's consciousness was thrust inside. Like a dreamspace, her form swirled past me, like two colors of dye mixed within a single pool of water. The ice blue of her eyes shone at me for a second, but one that felt like an eternity.

Lumi.

'Zara.'

I felt how she wanted to say more but, like an invisible muzzle placed on her thoughts, she vanished. My hands extended but a pulling sensation drew the darkness away. An invisible rope tethered around my waist and my limbs sagged under the strain that pulled me out.

Lumi!

"Zara," a jumbled, unfamiliar voice echoed in my ears.

"Mmm..." My eyes squeezed against a pounding headache sensation in my temples.

Blackness filled my vision but my other senses fired on overdrive. My skin tingled with a cold numbness, my body's muscles frozen and locked in place. Only my fingers and toes capably twitched. A sharp ring pierced my hearing like a direct line into my brain, wrenching my eyes tighter. A metallic scent filled my nostrils, coating my tongue with a dry, unpleasant taste.

"Miss Zara," the voice continued, which I recognized as a male's. "We need you to slowly, calmly wake up now. Open your eyes."

Although my eyelids felt as heavy as concrete, I pulled them open. My lashes fluttered wildly at the blurriness around the corners of my vision. My torso felt weighted, with a heavy object pressing me down. My muscles and joints ached, and thoughts within my brain seemed like they moved in slow motion. If it were possible, even my eyes felt heavy.

Blink after blink, the blurriness went away. A fuzzy figure in front of me, who spoke somewhat encouraging words for me to wake up, shifted from side to side. Eventually, the face of Alpha Fenris came into focus, surrounded by white walls.

"Miss Zara...." He paced back and forth, blurring his gray clothes. "Wake up slowly, carefully. I need you not to move"

My eyes stared at him. Numb and swollen, I couldn't feel my lips, and my mouth dry like I'd attempted a chubby bunny challenge but with cotton balls instead of marshmallows.

"If you hear me clearly now." He stopped and his dark eyes stared into mine. "Blink twice."

I blinked as he requested. My eyesight returned to normal, taking in four white walls and white tile floored room. Despite the dizziness throbbing between my eyes, my orientation felt upright but my entire body from the neck down felt numb and disconnected.

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